Why is it that I can put so much energy into something that doesn't really matter? I could go my whole life without any of this geek stuff and be just fine, in fact, if I stopped working on it and started working on my homework instead, my life would probably be better! But this is something that I can look forward to, that isn't just a tv show or something that only happens once in a while. It's even harder than my homework!! But I am more enthusiastic about it. Except now, I feel kind of guilty when I play because I should be doing other homework, and that just ruins the effect. So I'll have to limit myself to only when I have free time. Unh. Next step is to figure how how to transfer that energy into what the school wants me to do (i.e. my homework). I find it interesting, but not so much that it's not a chore to do all the time. Maybe it's the time limit, or the fact that I can't choose for myself... Maybe if I make an effort to really understand it, and not just read it over so I can talk semi-intelligably in class, I will find more enjoyment. unh. I wonder also if I have to find someone who is just as interested as myself, Sammi and Ann seem to be really into this Emerson stuff and they talk about it together. Study partners?? I do think I enjoy it more when I have someone to talk to or explain to about it. WHY DO I LIKE TO SLEEP SO MUCH????

Does it seem like everyone's leaving!?!?!?! If this is such a great school, then why do all these people find "great opportunities" elsewhere??