I read in an article that some people think that humans are genetically predisposed to monogamy because of emotions like jealousy. I don't think they meant it as any special comment on human beings, but it translated in my mind to: our foremost emotion is jealousy. And now I'm kinda obsessed with the idea. It keeps coming up in my thoughts. When I start tracking my thoughts, the first thing that comes up is jealousy. And in thinking about it, I've discovered that I am an extraordinarily jealous person.

I'm jealous of people's success
I'm jealous of people's time
I'm jealous of people's happiness and laughter
I'm jealous of people who seem to be okay with themselves
I'm jealous of people's health, mental and physical
I'm jealous of people's peace
I'm jealous of people who have people to understand them
I'm jealous of people who are open

But the whole time, I tell myself not to be. Is it like the negative feedback psychology thingy? Because I keep mentioning it, it's always on my mind?

Another random thought (gee I hope I'm not forcing them):

caveat: don't even try to think about the thought process involved in this one.

So there's this book I read a while ago in which Neanderthals came to be the dominant species and not homo sapiens or whatever we were back then. [Did you know that, according to this book anyway, its possible that home erectus (we) killed off the Neanderthals? Isn't that crazy? Our first case of genocide.] Anyway, in this other reality, all the women lived together in the center of town and the men only visited for a couple days a month. It wasn't that the men couldn't go to visit the females, but everyone just led different lives. The men all went when the women were ovulating and could concieve chilren...yeah anyway. 'Cause the women were all on the same cycle because they all lived together. So the point is that, while men could go visit the women, if they went during that one week a month...they couldn't get any taxis to take them and buses diverted their routes and stuff.

And I was thinking, dude, that must suck for the women to all be PMSing at the same time! And then I was thinking, dude, that's what happens here. And the men all do it too.

Okay, real quick.

I'm listening to the Garden State soundtrack while writing my paper. Haha, paper shmaper, as long as I pass. Anyway, so, I'm thinking that it's possible that Atalienay Ortmanpay (I just hate talking bad about people so that they'd be able to understand =P) is kind of a flighty person? I know that a million gajillion men in the world are in love with her, and I would totally be if I had to pick a woman to be in love with...but can you name a movie that she's been in (as an adult) that she didn't start dating a costar in? Okay, maybe Closer, but who knows. She dated the stupid bad actor boy in Star Wars, Zach what's his name in Garden State, her costar in some movie taking place in Israel... But she did have the good taste to date Gael Garcia...so...hmmm

Just a random thought that is keeping me from graduating.

I have a dream. A dream of a perfect man. He will approach me at a loud and ruckus party with a beer in his hand and be visibly inebriated. He will be so close to me as he speaks that I can smell the peanuts on his breath. He will know instinctively that I am an intuitive person and feel safe enough to share with me his deepest and darkest secret. He'll lean in even closer and, in a voice that's just hitting adolescence, say to me, "I'm a time traveller. Wanna go back to my time for some drinks?" And I'll know that we were meant to be together, and we will be, for the rest of our lives, or at least until he returns to his own time. Yup, that's how's it's gonna happen.