Today I went to lunch with my grandparents at the stupid, totally low-class "restaurant" they go to every Friday. He says he likes the waitresses and that they like him. All he is to them is a tip, and not a fabulous one at that. They live by their regulars.

My grandfather introduced me to Tiffany, forgetting, like he does every time I come home, that I've met her a million times and not realizing that I couldn't care less about her. This time he got to include the little gem about the recent graduation that we're all aware of.

She says, "Congratulations, you must have a lot of patience. After I graduated from high school I just couldn't wait to get a job and move out of the house. And, no offense or anything, but I get paid as much or more than you're going to. People ask me when I'm going to get a real job, but I tell them that I make more money working here than they do working with computers or whatever."

Oh, by the way, this is the girl that spent the entire time complaining how she can't eat anything because she got some wisdom teeth pulled. Not because the teeth are sore, mind you, they're mostly healed. But she has spent so much time compensating with the front part of her jaw that it's tired now too. And she needs to go back for more cleaning, but she doesn't have the money upfront, so she has to wait for a few more months. See, she doesn't have health insurance. But still college is a waste of time and she has no need for a career or anything.

I wanted to say something snooty about how college is about betting yourself and not just about how much money you get paid. But I realized, there's no point. And I realized, even if I do only get paid the same amount as that annoying girl, at least I know something about something, when all she seems to do all day is suck up to people so they'll give her a nice tip so she can get her teeth cleaned.

Day 2: Today I...

*was unable to sleep past 6:30 because I went to sleep at 11 last night
*ate an unhealthy breakfast out with my aunt and great-aunt
*visited my other great-aunt and talked about how I don't know what I'm doing
*went antiquing and found lots of things I can't buy because I have no house and no money
*ate really good strawberry-rhubarb pie with ice cream
*tried to get a new, working cell phone but had to wait until Tuesday when my dad pays the bill
*visited my grandparents and talked about how I don't know what I'm doing
*seriously considered the possibilities of going to the UAE for a while
*made the goal to fix up my resume as soon as possible
*am thinking about changing my blog skin to one with titles

Anyone wanna hear something kinda depressing?

Last night when the plane started to take off, it hit me even more. As we were going down the runway, one of the worst times for me anyway, I was thinking, maybe the plane will crash and I'll die. I can't see what going to happen from now anyway, maybe I've fulfulled my mission in life. That would certainly make me feel a lot better. I was slightly disappointed when we got up all right.

When we got above the clouds, there was a second sunset. It was pretty cool, but instead of making me feel inspired, it made me more depressed. I think I feel like a failure because I wasn't able to come up with a masterplan for my life and how I am going to contribute to saving the world.

My aunt tried to convince me to spend some time in the Middle East before finding a permanent job here. It's starting to sound pretty good, and the arguments I had against it don't seem to be standing up so well. Don't be surprised if I end up in the UAE for 6 months or so.

If my posts had titles, this one would be: My First Blog as a Graduate/Alumnus/Alumness

And if it had an emotion indicator, it would be about a 57. I haven't worked out the imaginary scales yet.

I'm going to pack now and see if everything will fit.

My dad forgot the cello. We're going to have to come back for it.