I don't want to have to change. It seems so much easier to just not worry about it and hope it goes away. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm that bad at all and there is no need to change anything, but then I feel like I am a horrible person and every aspect of me needs changing. Why don't I just feel one way all the time? If I felt that I needed changing all the time, then it would be a lot easier to motivate myself to change...or I would just be more miserable? When I feel that I am just fine, am I being dishonest with myself? Am I in some way deluding myself as to my true self. Or is that the real truth and it is just when I am convinced that I am the spawn of Satan that I am being insincere. When I'm happy, I don't do the things that I berate myself for, but once I do something or think something negative, I begin the downward spiral. Which is right and true? Is there a difference between the two?