I am not good with change! Have we noticed this? I have. So why go and make changes where NONE ARE NEEDED? Just adds more confusion to my life.

Went to see pretty flowers today. Pretty plum flowers. It kinda confuses me as to why they are plum trees, they don't put out plums...which I think is an integral part of the plum tree. So anywho, they are pretty, but not quite all the way bloomed yet. So maybe we'll go back next week. We went in the morning because it gets so crowded during peek hours. So maybe only a few people can go, but it will still be fun anyway.

I'm feeling a bit separated from the other abroaded studiers. I was feeling like we were all integrating pretty well, but lately I have been hanging out with only Sammi and Ally. I hope it doesn't continue like this, but they are the people I see the most, because we have 12 hours of Japanese class together every week... Not to mention that now a certain evil one is ignoring me now. Not that I want us to be friends, but is a casual hello too much to ask for? Apparently so for this one. Whatever, just as long as it doesn't become something annoying.

And I'm getting sick!! Sure taking it's sweet time though. I just want to get it over with!

Quickly quickly, must get home to dinner!

So I now have Ally hooked on blogging. She drags ME in here to blog with her. What do I have to say? I have no life, nothing to report. Except that, why do I have a job and no one else does? It's like the world has frozen over and hell has ended, or something like that.

There is a big test on Monday. So far, I have managed to sleep an extra three hours, waste two sending pictures to Alex so that he won't harrass my program coordinator anymore, and pretended to study for about five mintues. Ain't I good folks?? This test aughta be a breeze. Except for the speaking part. Who says you need to be able to speak a language to be able to speak a language?

So I got my classes, whoop-de-doo. Why was I freaking out for so long? Life is a sad. My life is measured by the amount of time I spend freaked out.

Announcing...The creation of a fantastic new resource for fun and entertainment, laughter and tears, and, most importantly, new fodder for the rumor mills.

www.allichan.blogspot.com

Or just visit my conveniently located link to the left of the screen.

Everyone's doing it, you should too.

Life in the Fast Lane. Or not.

So everyone has been writing sad things, and it makes me sad. The Mad Three (that's my spur of the moment name for us) have been reminiscing like, well, mad lately. I wonder if it's driving others insane. It's certainly driving me insane. The major downside of SUA: getting us all attached to each other. It's like there's still an umbilical cord connecting us all to the mothership. Sooner or later it's going to have to be cut. And you know how it is with chicken pox: the older you are the worse it is. Yeah, I like mixing my analogies, it's fun.

So, Japanese people will watch ANYTHING. They have the randomest shows. I watched one where they put really obscure kanji up and made the people guess the reading for it. And they were all celebrities. I mean, come on people, make a movie or something. And then there was one where they were playing kids games, the kind were you have to clap in rhythm and do some brainy thing at the same time without losing the rhythm or messing up. Craziness. It was funny to watch...for about 2 minutes, and then I had to change the channel.

ARGGGGHHHH Next time around, I will not be in the 1st class. I have no classes to take. But that's okay, I won't be able to register for them anyway, so it's all good.

So, after having three 3-hour literature classes in Japan, I think I'm pretty safe in saying that I'm thankful for the classes at SUA. We read interesting books in class or course, but the discussions are a little limited. Partially it could be because there are only three English speakers in the class besides the teacher, but there is also something about the depth of the questions. He always seems to be concerned about how Japan is portrayed and whether it is an actual portrayal or not. Hello, you're American, and no matter how much you pretend to know about Japan, the truth is that you're still a foreigner who has lived here for a few years. Plus, it's Japanese people writing about themselves, so let them be. And we don't need a summary or a warmup, bring on the tough questions. Just different I suppose, but I don't come out of the class with great and grand new ideas like sometimes happens at SUA, even in a regular run-of-the-mill they-made-me-take-it courses.

Anyway, it sure didn't steal that one. HAHAHAHAHA I have fooled the evil computer masters. Now I need to go do some homework or something.

Eep, the thingy stole my entry. I don't like it when it does that, but I don't know how to make it stop.

And that just makes me sad and not want to write anything...........

I have this weird headache thing going on. I get lots of sleep at night because I am SOOOO tired here for some reason, but I still get headaches. I don't know where they come from, unless they come from thinking too hard.

Oh yeah. And somehow, I've become motivated enough to be a good studied. I have been studying sooooo much in the past week. It's pretty cool, even though I don't really feel like I know all that much more, but I might eventually, so I'm gonna try to keep it up.

Monday monday, wish it were Sunday. Took a placement test today. I don't quite understand how it will place us, the questions were pretty easy to guess on. Anyway... why do I have the feeling I'm going to be stuck in a lower class than I should? I guess that would be okay for reviewing things like particles and the like, but I want to learn how to say stuff to. Maybe I'm just being pessimistic today.

Not really comfortable with the host family yet, I hope it will happen though. It's just weird with the host father. I don't know if I should stay out of his way or what. I'm sure part of it is just that it's new and that's normal. Everyone elses host family sounds really cool.

This sure is a loud keyboard.

I am hungry, but the cafeteria was WAY too crowded when we went over there. Gonna try again later.

Good thing I have a pass that will get me from here to home as many times as I want, because there is nothing to do here now, and if I had to pay to go home, I would be pretty angrified I think.

And what is up with SUA registration. I'm going to develop a twitch if I don't get an email soon. You know, it would have been nice if I had been informed that it's postponed in the first place, instead of having to ask about it. Here I was, thinking that I'm going to be stuck in all 100 courses because I'm out of reach, when all along, nothing is going on. Japanese people write in run-on sentences, I may start doing the same thing.

I hate having two blogs!!!

Inner thoughts, inner thoughts. I having problems separating my inner thoughts from the mush in my brain. And I have 15 minutes in which to do it. Yeah right. And email!!

This is where I'm meeting Jason+
5th subway stop: ima de gawa
Exit 1 at the bottom

3 minutes...gotta go eat lunch. I'm hungry. Jason sure doesn't seem like he fits MY definition of a global citizen, for all that he lives in another country and apparently like Japanese stuff. After this trip, I may have to only see him occasionally. Maybe I'll take a class from a different proffessor. A bunch of the other students are pissed off at him, and who knows how the rest of the trip will go. Hopefully, I will stay busy elsewhere in Tokyo. I gotta go, gotta go!!

What is going on here?

I've got a plan, and that makes me feel good. But the plan, well, truth be told, there are four or five plans, can't begin until I'm back at Soka. So I need a plan for Japan. I think it will be a lot easier when I have a purpose in Japan and am not just a lazy bum spending money all over the place.

At least today I held back. There were earrings that I didin't need...and I didn't buy them...and I only sort of regret it now. On the other hand, I got a messengery-bag type deal that I've been wanting for a long time. Now let's just see if it will last longer than a week!!

So far, I have met two students from the fourth class. One is Yoko Shimura, the daughter of the Japanese Willy Wonka. Isn't that wonderful! But she's really nice. She just graduated from a different university, Tamagawa University. Both Conny and I needed to buy shoes for the graduation ceremony, but 1)they were all over $100 dollars, way over, and 2) none of them fit.

So she came with us to help us find shoes. Turns out, we can fit into the size L shoes, we were just not doing it right before. You need to wear stalkings for it to work. She also showed us a place where all the shoes were on sale for $26. So I got two. Not that I need two pairs, but that's okay, they're cool. One pair is really pointy, which is weird, since I've never had pointy shoes before, but I'll get used to them.

The other girl is Risako Doi, straight from Soka High School. We went to their International Club meeting yesterday and hung out for the day. Did you know Maju was the president of the International Club? I sure didn't, and now I'm going to make fun of her!! Risako lived in the U.S. for four years, so her English is really good. It was weird to speak regular English with Japanese people, and it was still really stunted. Alas, I don't think I'm going to be able to take a Kehlen class next year, at least, not first semester!!

Wrote a really long letter today.

Was annoyed by a bunch of chanters.

Sat in the sun.

Listened to the trees talk.

Watched the birds play.

Found peace in a turbulent seashore.

How do waves work anyway?

Ate too much, and it was good.

Stared off into space while pretending to listen.

Learned a new Japanese phrase.

Became excited about a future class.

Wanted to scream and throw a fit.

Wanted to sleep all day long.

Wanted to escape the craziness.

Wanted to say, "hope to see you soon."

Wanted a culture that I understand.

Wanted to be a people person.

Wanted to forget about tomorrow.

Wanted to express my feelings in song.

Life is not on hold, no matter that this place is not my place. The world keeps spinning, and work progresses even though I'm gone. No one will wait for me, so I should wait for no one.

I have thoughts, many many thoughts.

Spring Break: SUA students in town. Not many, but they are here. We're all attending the SUJ graduation ceremony on Friday, which, of course, the founder will attend. I have to say that, even though everyone keeps congratulating us, I'm beginning to feel a little ambivilant. It's so hyped that I don't even want to participate anymore. I hate the whole invitation thing. I could also feel a little annoyed that we couldn't go to the other ones, but maybe I'm not sure. I know of one person, Japanese member, no connection, as such, to SUA, who attended the Gakuen (high school) graduation and will also be attending the SUA graduation. Now I'm thinking, if there are such limited seats, and everyone wants to go, why does this person get to go to two of them, at least one of which, he has to people in.

Yeah, I'm whiny, but the whole hierarchy thing is the SGI is driving me nuts. If an organization wants everyone to be equal and happy, putting some people above others, and really treating them better, is not the way to go. It's very obvious here that high leaders in the SGI and those connected to them are seen as closer to President Ikeda, and so better than common people. We have been introduced to many leaders, and we are supposed to be ecstatic that we get the opportunity to meet with people we can't communicate with and have nothing to talk about anyway. It's just awkward silence puntuated by stupid and required questions about family members and so forth.

And I'm trying to stay positive and see all the good things, I really am. But I see people learning and passing on the good things without thinking about it. We went to an English gosho lecture, and the dude was saying things that were really unclear and could be taken completely the wrong way, and people were just nodding their headings, like what he was saying was gold. And I was sitting there thinking, "What is this guy talking about." Of course he said some nice things, but he also said things that I absolutely cannot agree with. Can I take the good without the bad? I don't think I can pick apart his lecture and ignore the things I think are wrong. But most other people seemed really happy with what he said.

I don't want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt when they are influencing that many people. The SGI is a very powerful and influential organization within Japan, even in politics. President Ikeda has given a goal of 10 million votes for the Komei Party in the upcoming election. No one I have talked to, even a Komei member, can tell me anything about their platform, except that they are for peace. Great. Not many people seem worried about this. I found ONE. And what if I don't want to vote for them, even if I did know what they were about (and I could vote in Japan)? Would I be kicked out of SGI-land? It's not even a question of whether SGI members will vote Komei. From what I have heard from outside SGI sources about Komei in the past and elsewhere, they run a little to the right. Well, I run pretty far to the left. Everyone wants peace, or at least most don't want to destory the country, and the difference is how they think it should be done. What if I don't think what the Komei wants to do will work?

Religion and politics shouldn't mix. And no religion should tell you who to vote for. And there shouldn't be political commercials at meetings. But here it happens. And I don't have enough Japanese, and no one has enough English, for me to complain adequetely or to explain myself. They don't seem to get it when I try. There is no criticising of the SGI at all here, that I can see or understand.

So, yesterday we did the whole crazy meeting thing again. One at 10 am and one at 8 pm. The 10 am one was okay, same old same old. But the one at 8 pm was to watch the video of the recent Headquaters Meeting. In Japanese of course. So why was I there? I don't know. I thought that Tariq Hassan (SGI-USA Vice-mens and SUA Board Member) was going to speak, but he didn't. So there was exactly nothing that I understood. And I was fuming. Going to the meeting I was pretty hyper and singing songs and stuff, but once the meeting started, I got really unhappy. I figure, it didn't hurt anything, but my legs really started hurting, and I remembered Cassie's knee problems, and I got a little mad. Grrrr Nothing out of it, and killing my hips and knees doing it. lovely.

But between the meetings, we went out with Maju's mom and a friend of hers. The friend was really really nice and gave us, of course, some home-made notebooks and bags. She didn't speak any English, but we didn't let that stop us. Her daughter lives in Miami, and she showed us pictures from their last trip. Then we started talking about how humid Japan is in the summer and she said that her daughter won't come back to Japan because of that. The only bad part was when I completely forgot the name for humidity. We acted it out and understood what we were talking about and Conny knew it in German, but I couldn't for the life of me remember in English. Yeah, talk about good impressions on new acquaintences. So she was nice, and I really like Maju's mom, and we're all going to the Onsen on the 17th. Hehe. We'll see how I do.

So other than that, I'm surviving. Mostly. Today we slept until the afternoon and went for a short walk. Nice easy day. Called Grace yesterday, she's back in Japan, along with her mom. We're getting together tomorrow, don't know to do what though.

Ahh, just wrote for an hour at least. Short.

Getting smothered.
Shutting down.
What to do??
Having much fun outside the house, no fun inside.
Want to go to Sapporo.
Need homework, some purpose to my life.
Don't like being used as a shakubuku tool.
Don't always need translation.
Perfectly happy to stare off into space.
Poor doggy!!
I like central heating.

Time for me to complain...tune out if you don't care:

Alex Okuda is trying to make me pay $113 dollars for my plane ticket. He says I was over my limit of $1200. I sent him back an email saying, "uhhh, maybe the limit is $1365." He replied, but I haven't read it yet. After I finish complaining, I'll read it, I just have a bad feeling about the email. Sammi, Ally, wanna back me up on the $1365? I remember because I was like, "cool, 365 days in a year." You don't mistake things like that. Or at least, I don't.

Next. They say I am overdue for my phone bill. Did Jessica know she had a phone bill? When I went to pay my last two or three in December, no one mentioned it. Was it for December? How was I supposed to know that? So many kinks to work out!! I went on to the class sign-up login thing, but that was a little impossible. If that thing is to be believed, I owe about $9000, due in January. Huh, that number makes no sense. It's not how much I pay the school, it's not half of what I pay the school. It's a nonsense number. Anyway, how do I pay a bill from Japan? I didn't bring any checks with me.

One more. I got an email from Cindy Cohen yesterday demanding that I come pick up my financial aid application and mail it directly to the Department of Education by 5:00 that day. I didn't check my mail yesterday. I got another mail today like I was ignoring the other email or something. So now...who knows. I left it signed with my father before I left. I can't do it online without him, he can't send it in without me. Anyone see a problem here?

So we're going to Kyoto. At first Otousan and Okaasan were freaking out because...well they freak out whenever we try to do anything on our own. And of course they know someone's daughter who is a travel agent. And it was too expensive. But then, Okaasan's penchant for telling everyone everything paid off. One woman, very nice, good cheesecake, cute kids, can NEVER remember her name, has a friend in Kyoto who would of course love to host SUA students anytime. Her daughter is in high school and wants to go to SUA and so would love the chance to talk to real live SUA students. Oh yeah, and Kacchan's dad is one of her teachers. So all we have to do is pay the bullet train cost (not insignificant) and a small amount of money to the friend, and we're all set. It's a little scary though...SGI connections all over the country. You need something, and we know someone who can help you and maybe get you a good deal. Truly. So far we've got: cell phones, travel agent, kimonos, English speakers, shop owners, and school teachers, to name a few.

I feel like a teenager all over again ('cause THAT was a long time ago=P). I'm rebelling against everything and everyone. Though I'm not doing as bad as Conny. For once, I am not the one with the worst attitude. It's weird. But at least I have someone to talk to about my craziness. I would HATE it if she was all happy and lalala about everything here.

But we are being well taken care of. In fact, that's our complaint. Funny, ain't it?

Went to a teachers meeting today and gave a little speach. We talked about the qualities that some of our SUA professors have that make them wonderful. All non-SGI members, and we told them that. We said how you don't have to be an SGI member to care about students. And a lot of them were nodding. It was cool, I think they agreed. The first time anyone here has admitted that something non-SGI about SUA is okay or even good. I was happy. I felt like I did when I was younger and had gone to a really good meeting. I was bouncing off the walls. We were trying to decide what flowers we are. But there was major language barrier, English, German, and Japanese. Hmm, maybe it's just been a while since I've been to a good meeting. And it's funny, because I couldn't understand what they were saying through the whole thing. I was still happy when I left, not angry or bored.