I called in sick to work today. I'm bad, but work is so boring! I had a whole conversation online with Rumiko the other day. And it wasn't me who had to sign off.

I'm spending today trying to figure out what to do. I'm still not a permanent employee yet, and I'm thinking that I may go a different way when it comes time for the permanence (if they want me that is). But I also can't think of what else I'd do or where else I'd go, so I'll probably stay.

I realized/admitted to myself today that I hate to read anything I've written. I can't decide whether it's because I recognize that I'm no good or just that I have a weird phobia.

But, as we discussed several times in Japan, there is such a thing as too much self-reflection.

I'm bored with my life. If this is how it's going to be for the next 60-70 years, I don't see the point. Life is supposed to be made up of the mundane, and we are supposed to find happiness in the little moments, because no way can we sustain that highs that most people seem to expect from life. But lately, okay for a while, that hasn't been happening. I don't even answer the phone anymore, because it's too much trouble. I have ideas that make me happy, but they also depress me because I know they most likely won't happen. And somehow, I can't seem to motivate myself out of the funk. Recognizing it has not gotten me much closer to defeating it. Maybe it only works for alcoholics. At least if I was an alcoholic, there would be a support group. Maybe I should join the club. Yeah right, I don't even have the energy to do something self-destructive.

I'm getting old. I listen to NPR on the way to work instead of music.

My Labor Day weekend was totally horrid! I went out for breakfast on Sunday morning, got horrible service, didn't enjoy the omelet, got charged an arm and a leg for it, and spent the rest of the day nauseous. Spent Monday on my back in bed with the worst headache I've had IN MY LIFE (and I don't think I'm exaggerating on that one), Tuesday mostly in bed. I went to work for about half the day today. I'm not throwing my anymore, but my stomach hurts like the dickens and I don't know why. But I'm too afraid to go see a doctor about it.

I WANT MY 3-DAY WEEKEND BACK!!

And it's my last week at work, so I have to, have to, get through the whole day tomorrow and Friday with something like productivity.

Happy Birthday to me and Cassie. Another year older and wiser.

Yesterday was the worst day of work ever!! Okay, probably not, but I had a pounding headache, I didn't eat anything for lunch, the owner sent everyone but me and two new girls home early, and then my boss was trying to joke with me! I was feeling guiltly about leaving, but yesterday pretty much finished that up for me.

My dad told me that his headhunter often places people in this company called Corbis. I think it's owned by Microsoft or the same people? Anyway, apparently they make bank, but they also work crazy hours to do so. He told me that if this next job doesn't work out, he'll talk to this lady about placing me there. Then I could work crazy hours for a year or two, pay off my loans real quick, and emerge a butterfly. Okay, maybe I made that up about the butterfly, but why couldn't he have told me about his nice headhunter BEFORE I found myself a job?

I had this crazy dream that reminded me of a Patricia McKillip book. I'm thinking of trying to write a story around it. And has anyone heard of The Buzz Ballads CDs. My coworker got them and burned them for me. They are the COOLEST set of compilation CDs EVER!

Yesterday, my boss, who has been pretty much ignoring me, called me in to have another "what are we going to do with Jessica talk." He blah blah-ed at me for a while, but he actually said a couple of interesting things about me while he was expounding on his vast knowledge of the entity known to the world as Jessica. He said that the reason I'm not happy is that 1)I'm an artist and 2)I need things to be static and I'm afraid of dynamism. That first one kinda distracted me with the thought that "hey if he sees me as artistic, maybe I am" but then I realized that he could just figure because he knows I like to write. But then I came around to the second point and I'm wondering. I know that I always say that I don't like change, but I never really believed it. Now I'm wondering. Part of the problem at work stems from other things, but maybe I really don't like change after all. It's gotten me to thinking anyway.

Not that it really matters anyway. They FINALLY called me back and I start the new job on the 11th. I don't remember if I mentioned it, but the liaison between us kept calling me and telling me that the chick wanted to hire me, but she was just waiting for approval from higher up. Well, she finally got the word, so here I am. And they also hired the person who will be replacing me today, she starts Friday, so I'll have two full weeks with her.

Switching gears. I took my cousin and her friend to a concert last night (on a work night, aren't I a great cousin) and I started to wonder if it's possible to be slightly bipolar. The headliners were Bowling for Soup (the people who did 1985) and the other bands were pretty similar, so it was good, but not great music. So anyway, I was pretty quiet during the whole thing and I got to thinking that I have only two setting on my volume control, mute and really loud. And I'm kinda like that everywhere else as well. I'm either bubbly or mopey. But I don't get suicidal (which is a good thing) and I don't think I get maniacally happy (except for every once in a while). So, is it possible to be slightly bipolar and can I take pills for that? I think that my mopey stages last too long and are getting in the way of my life.

Ah ha!

Today we learned how to fit our new line of diabetic shoes. Sound exciting doesn't it!! I played guinea pig and it turns out that I should be wearing a size 7 or 7 1/2 shoe. Is that insane? The other people who got fit were wearing the right size, it was only me. And I was thinking that I must just have wide feet, but they aren't all that wide. A "B" or "C" tops. So that is my world shaking event of the day.

I'm thinking I may have to buy some diabetic shoes though. They look sooo comfortable, and they are made so that they won't irritate your feet in any way. They cost quite a bit, but you can also get inserts that are molded to your feet!

I went on an interview last Friday, and things look pretty good. The lady said it was an "excellent interview" and that she'd get back to me early this week...but I was told that they are a little slow sometimes, so I'm not worried yet. Better pay, better benefits, a company that is not failing...what is there not to like? Eh, longer commute, but not too bad.

The one co-worker I will miss is kinda weirded out by me leaving, which makes me feel good, but I'll worry about her if (when, WHEN!!) I go. I think I'm the only person she really talks to about everything that freaks her out at work, most of the other people are slightly brainwashed, and if they aren't brainwashed, they are earmarked to be fired. That's where all my hesitation comes from - I hate to leave her with all the crazies, but she has a husband who is willing to support her if she quits, so I don't feel too bad. This week (all two days of it so far) has been pretty hard, so I am seriously ready to leave.

I have a job interview tomorrow morning. And surprise surprise, I'm conflicted about it. My bosses are starting to depend on me more and more, but they are firing people right and left. They hired someone last Thursday, then they fired two people Friday (supposedly for financial reasons), then they fired the person with the most seniority on Wednesday. Supposedly, these were layoffs, but they didn't start at the bottom of the totem pole, or else I would be gone. And now you understand why they are depending on me more and more.

On a side note, I think my arch-nemesis knows how to use the internet and is mad at me for writing about him. He wasn't in his accustomed spot when I came home this evening.

My arch-nemesis is a poofy black cat who sits in the parking lot right where I swing out to pull into my parking spot. I don't know his name, but I glare at him and he gazes back at me unimpressed. And I've been parking crookedly for weeks.

Once again I have to say that Hillary Clinton is cool. Not necessarily for her politics, I don't know that much about them and they are not relevant in this post. She is cool because she will tell Rumsfeld that he is incompetent and then she will tell an entire anti-war rally that she doesn't think a set date for troop withdrawal is smart. In short, though politicians have to pander to their constitutents, she tells them what she thinks even if it's not what they want to hear. We need someone who will tell us what they think so we know what they will do, instead of them telling us what we want to hear and then doing what they want anyway.

I'm playing hookie today and applying for jobs.

Do you think Ann will still make me rice balls if I ask her? Or does chanting and rice-ball-making go together? Wait! Do you have to chant to be able to EAT rice balls???? Oh no! Quickly, call the SGI hotline!

I'm getting really tired of living from weekend to weekend. Come Monday, all I want is for Friday to come.

So we had this idea for my aunt to find me a position as a second wife with some rich sheik. That way I wouldn't have to work anymore. She says they give each wife their own house, so I wouldn't have to deal with an upper wife bossing me around. Downside - I'd have to move out of the country. The sad part is, she could probably find me a position, but I'd have to convert to Islam.

Happy Friday. My boss told one of my co-workers that he likes me, but he doesn't think the company has a place for me. He says I belong in school, that that's where my heart lies and that he thinks it would be good if I just worked part time and went to school.

The same co-worker agrees that I just need to find a husband who will support me so I don't have to work full-time.

I'm so ready to leave my job! Today wasn't even a bad day, it was mildly successful. No one got particularly mad at me, except for one lady who figured out that she was the one who made the mistake. I got most of my little things taken care of. And most importantly, I didn't mess up anything - that I know of. Unfortunately, I spend all my time anticipating that next angry customer so much that I wince when someone walks in the door. Or something stupid happens with a product that we carry or a policy that comes down from on high, and I figure that nothing is ever going to change. Or my boss is going to expect something out of me that I just don't want to do.

I've figured it out. It's not my job that I don't like, it's the company. I am embarrassed to work for such a messed up company. I've been here 8 months, and it's not any better. I actually see the problems more clearly, but no one will listen to me who has the power to change it. I think the only way I would stay is if my boss sold the place. Maybe. It's also just an inherently messed up business model.

I used my nicer boss as a job reference, but I didn't tell her. Do you think that's going to be a problem?

I really really want the PR people to call. And if I were them, I would call me. The only requirement that I don't have is the PR degree. But it said elsewhere, PR, communications, journalism, or similar. With Humanities and The Pearl, I've got to be covered right? But I'm always nervous when I send out a resume. I feel so inadequate. What if they look at my address and figure I'm a waste of time because I live so far away. It is a little worrisome to think about that commute, but I could handle if for a while I think.

I got an email confirming that they received my resume, but that wasn't until 2:30 this afternoon. How long are they going to take? Hopefully enough time for me to finish getting my teeth done.

Sorry for the whining, but it makes me feel better. I don't really have anyone that I can whine about this stuff to. Some of the people I might whine to are right in the middle of it, i.e. coworkers (and that just doesn't feel right), and then everyone else is having extreme selfish-time - everyone wants to talk about they're own problems and they don't have time for anyone else's (I'm not leaving myself out of that group, just saying that it's happening to everyone all at once).

I just got back from "the girl trip" with most of my female family members. I just have a couple things to tell you all.

Louis and Clark got stuck on the beach for six days just before they made it to the Pacific Ocean. That spot is now called Dismal Niche. Cool huh?

We were playing a bunch of 70's songs on the way down. Have you ever heard the song that goes "I've got a brand new pair of rollerskates, you've got a brand new key..." My aunts were all laughing at the double entendres going on. Something about "going around the world." I thought I was pretty up on the dirty talk, but I'm lost on this one. The key thing is obvious, but what the heck do the rollerskates mean? Maybe it's better that I don't know.

Moving on, I found the perfect job for me. It's the PR assistant for the Seattle Symphony. Unfortunately, I'd have to move MUCH closer to Seattle, with about 6 months to go on my lease, but I'm applying tomorrow anyway.

I've had a revelation. Why is it that there has to be something, some career that I want to do? Can't it just be that I'm lazy and there's not going to be anything that makes me happy? Yup, that's my destiny. Except for becoming a platypus of course.

I was carrying my computer and thinking *something something,* "hey, I should definitely blog that." When I had the computer hooked up to the internet again, I had completely forgotten. I'll have to find something else to tell the people who come to read about the car wreck that is my life. Or maybe it's the car that's still sitting in the garage because I can't manage to hit the switch to open the door so I can get to the point of impact that will create the car wreck.

I had today off because I'm working Saturday. They told me yesterday. I'm getting tired of getting mixed messages. One minute, the boss is all worried about me and wants me to be happy, the next I'm being tossed around at the last minute because...I have no idea. We had everything all worked out, but... yeah.

On Tuesday we are going on our annual girl trip. My three aunts, my cousin, and I are going...down to the Oregon coast??? I think. I just get in the car and end up wherever we end up.

Ellie and I bought plane tickets for Japan. Somehow the tickets for October are more expensive than the ones for August were. At least we finally bought them. And they're non-refundable, so we have to go.

I went to Bellevue to buy sunglasses this weekend. I haven't seen the sun since.

My boss somehow got wind that I was ready to quit, and now he keeps telling me that he wants me to be happy and that he doesn't want to lose me because I'm "adorable." I don't know if I can put that on a resume. But anywho, he basically asked me to design my job description, since he can't figure out what I'll do if we can manage to find someone else to take over the parts I don't like...

Sleepy sleepy, always sleepy

I need to try harder, try everything harder.

I'm so lost I don't know where to start.

I was in meetings today for hours while my boss tried to convince me that I need to be more critical when evaluating employee performance. And trying to convince me that we all need to take more personal responsibility for the reason the company's as messed up as it is. I think if he would just leave, we'd get a lot more done. At least he asked me what would make me happy at work.

My coworker gave her two-week notice today. Sigh, I suppose that means I won't be quitting anytime soon.

When does a tough situation go from a growth opportunity to a bad situation?

I'm having doubts as to what I can offer the world. Yeah I'm good at stuff other people can do, but I really want to differentiate myself somehow. I don't know if I can settle for anything less. I'm losing faith that I can?

I TRIED to tell my boss today that I want to quit, but she never got back to me.

AHH, I'm wavering on quitting the job!!!!! I'm STUPID STUPID STUPID. Today was a good day, but tomorrow probably won't be. Why can't I just make a decision and stick to it? But I am going to have a talk with my boss tomorrow (hopefully...if I can get her on the phone while I have a couple minutes to breathe).

p.s. I need to get a different dentist.

Two Mondays ago my boss calls me at work about 8:45 and tells me that he fired one of the girls who worked in Woodinville store and for me to go down to work there. And I've been down ever since. Last Monday, I gave up on the company and started searching for new job opportunities. I'm still trying to get up the nerve to tell my boss that I'm looking for another job.

My dilemma is that I don't want to get into another bad job situation, but I've been tempted almost every day to give my two weeks and use my savings while I look for another job.

My dad came over today because my brother picked up a virus (or 12). Garth didn't even realize it was Father's Day, aren't we a loving family. The weird thing is that I actually wanted to hang out with him (my dad). He didn't stay long, he played with the computer for a bit and we joined a bunch of cousins at my grandparent's house, but he had to go take his girlfriend plant hunting. Also weirdly, I wasn't too annoyed that he wanted to go hang out with his girlfriend except that I kinda wanted to talk to him.

What's your 4400 ability? the4400.com

Jessica you are a MIND CONTROL MASTER

There's nothing you like more than getting your way, and you're not opposed to cutting corners or stepping on toes to make it happen. And you're in luck - your abduction by-product would be the popular 4400 power of mind control! Think of all the time and breath you'll save by condensing your complex mind games into a split-second. Now you'll have time to work on being a little less calculating and a little more genuine. Just a thought.

Someone! Tell me where and when and how I should go back to school!

I went to Princeton Review to see if they could help...in any way. Instead, I read the seven (seven?) questions you're supposed to ask yourself before you go to grad school. The scariest one is something like "what job prospects are there for after school?" Ah man!

It only seems to have taken me three days of inept online research to find the perfect grad school for me. So why am I so leary of it?

Some background on the decisions I've made about grad school:

1. Not only have I decided to go to grad school, but I fugure I'll need at least two M.A.s, if not more. I'm looking at one in the Communications area (writing being all about creative writing, and that's not what I'm looking for) and one in the political arena (international relations/studies, politics, American Government...etc)

Backing up again for some who may not have heard:

• I decided that my dream job is to be like Rush Limbaugh (except for the politics and that people could probably spell MY name on the first try).
• I want to talk the talk without having to walk the walk. That shouldn't surprise anyone who knows me!

Fowarding again:

1. (Can't make the thing do 2) The best one before this current good one is George Washington University with a Masters of Media and Public Affairs, which I think is almost perfect with just the one M.A., but then I'm thinking, "oh no, then the second M.A. will be redundant."
2. (Do you see how I make a decision and then am affraid to change it?)
3. GWU would also be cool because it's right next to D.C. and it says that their students work in the capital a lot.
4. But then I'm thinking, if I'm going to be a rational Rush, I had better know what I'm talking about, so studying the "interactions among media, politics, economics, and human development" isn't really good enough.
5. Back to the two M.A.s
6. (Have you got the sense that I haven't even begun to look into the funding of this new little adventure?)
7. Then I find the NYU School of Journalism with their Cultural Reporting and Criticism Department.
8. Sounds really good. Not hard facts journalism, but biased, opinionated journalism. Doesn't that sound like the ticket.
9. Only now I'm waffling and am a bit intimidated.
10. Should the writing part come before or after the content part (meaning the political study)
11. GWU is really in a good spot for learning about politics.
12. And you have to submit a bijillion writing samples, which I probably should have thought of.
13. And I probably shouldn't set my heart on one program anyway right?
14. And it's in New York City for crying out loud! I don't even like going into SEATTLE.

So someone tell me. I seem to have found that it's going to be easier to find a communications school than a politiky one (not that I haven't found interesting ones), so should I wait until I'm finishing up the first one before I do research on the second, just in case I change my mind somewhere in there?

Update on the politiky part

• Interesting Program #1: University of Chicago, Center for International Relations. Sounded interesting to me, they say they are one of the oldest International Relations schools in the country, and it's only for one year.
• Interesting Program #2: University of Warwick, Politics and International Studies (located in Britain somewhere). Be kind of cool to study politics from another perspective, but I think that, if I somehow managed to become known, it would be a detriment to have studied outside the country.
• Interesting Program #3: Seton Hall University, Diplomacy and International Relations. Diplomacy is a good thing, it involves knowing both sides, something I am an advocate of. But who the heck has ever heard of Seton Hall before, and where is it?

Okay, I'm done. Sorry to go on for so long, but now that I have actually taken the fork in the road, I'm all confused. But I think it's a good confused. At least it gives me a goal, and I found that I can be more positive at work, focusing on what I can contribute in the (mostly likely) year before I leave for grad school, wherever that may be.

I know I already blogged today, but I have to share. I'm looking up grad schools, trying to figure out what to do, what to do. I found a Master's of Humanities at Salve Regina University in Rhode Island, and you can go straight on to a Ph.D. Basically it's a Master's of Core I with the option of a Ph.D. in Core I. This is the description of the Master's:

The Master of Arts in Humanities is an interdisciplinary program that seeks to foster a broad understanding of the qualitative aspects of life and culture through a study of disciplines such as history, literature, philosophy and religion. The course of study is intended for individuals who want to broaden their intellectual and cultural horizons. It also serves as excellent preparation for the Ph.D. degree in the Humanities.

And here is the Ph.D.:

The doctoral program in humanities provides an interdisciplinary investigation of the question “What does it mean to be human in an age of advanced technology?” In one form or another, this question commands attention as we enter the twenty-first century, and find ourselves continually challenged by technological change. This crucial question is addressed from a humanistic perspective: the fields of art, ethics, literature, management, philosophy and religion direct our investigation of advanced technology's implications on individuals and society.

I am actually and offically blogging from my own apartment. Yes, that's right, now it may actually be possible to contact me.

And let's also make it official that Jessica has decided to go to graduate school. I realized today that it was exactly a year after graduation, weird. Where and for what exactly, the research has yet to be done for, but something involving the written word. Rest assured, you will be kept abreast of all decisions.

This is my life:

• Alarm goes off at 6:12.
• 2 sessions of snoozing.
• 6:30, throw off the covers and spend 3-5 minutes convincing myself I really do have to get up and take a shower.
• Shower, dress, eat breakfast, all while trying to convince myself that today won't be such a bad day.
• Chant for a couple minutes, because, hey it can't hurt, and maybe it'll help.
• Read, stare, and/or try to figure out what I'm going to do at work all day long off into space for 15 minutes before I leave for work at 7:45.
• Get to work 5 minutes later.
• Spend the first 10 minutes trying to come up with a plan for the day that will trick my boss into thinking I'm being productive
• Spend the first 2-3 hours doing what I know is productive.
• Try to get someone to give me something to do that will be productive.
• Lunch, oh the freedom that an hour can bring.
• Spend the rest of the day trying to do what my bos wants me to do without being totally miserable and trying not to think about how usless it is.
• 5:00, get kicked out of the office, try to have a productive evening.
• At home, eating dinner and trying to convince myself that I shouldn't read the night away into oblivion because that makes tomorrow and the next day of work come too quickly.
• Try to think of what to do: look for another job? keep plugging until I can get a handle of the work situation, if that's possible? continue to be miserable and do nothing?
• Word on the "thing" I'm trying to write to see if there's any future in it for me for a few minutes and stare off into space.
• Go to sleep rediculously early becuase trying to avoid rocking the boat or making any decisions and reading all night is hard work.

Wow, I didn't realize I was so depressing.

Wow, the last time I posted was in February. Time is sure flying by, and I don't have all that much to show for it, how sad.

I just spent about a month and a half covering for a co-worker who quit suddenly. We've been having such a problem with personnel they didn't want to rush somebody in when we'd just have to cover again in another month. So anyway, I didn't mind so much, it was a much less stressful (overall) position with a lot less responsibilities. Unfortunately (for me) it was working with customers, and that was just too stressful when we didn't have exactly what they wanted or we screwed them over and I was the one they yelled at.

But now I'm back in my regular position, whatever that is. It changes every week anyway, and now I'm all confused about what I'm doing, what my priorities are and all that. My boss and I were talking and I was agreeing with everything he was saying (because duh, not so healthy to argue and he's a pretty confrontational person anyway) but then he made a comment about me not really having any position. And yeah, I knew he was talking in a circle and kept changing his mind, and I guess it was a little trap, and I fell into it, but I have no idea how to fix the company. Come on, it's so messed up!! I'd say scrap it and start somewhere else. Not the most profitable type of business, I don't know what possessed them to start it.

That's my rant about my work situation. My brother might be moving in with me. He's doing exactly nothing right now, and I'm hoping that if he moved in with me, I could bug him into getting a job or going back to school. But it's possible that the only thing that'll come of it is that I'll kill him and be an only child.

Ahhh, enough.

And here I am on the internet after two week without. I swear, I gotta get some at home or it's going to be a disaster.

So here I am, working, eating, and sleeping most of my days. But I did go to an open house kinda thing at a dance studio where a girl from my work goes/teaches. I went with another girl from my work and her husband. They signed up, but it was just a little too different for me. I had a girl trying to teach me salsa who still had to count semi-out-loud. It was odd. But it was fun and the first time I danced in a long time. I also learn the basic steps to the waltz, foxtrot, tango, and some silly thing called the hussle (just the merenge with a slightly different empahsis). They kept saying, "you follow well," or "you have natural hip movement" and I'd tell them that I did some latin dance before, but they'd still try to teach me every little thing. Oh well, they needed to teach me more than I needed to argue with them about how I didn't need it. But learning the other dances was kinda cool. I wish I could learn them fully, without having to deal with the plastic people who were the teachers. Oh yeah, and which side does the gay earring go on? There was an our-age guy there with an earring who looked just a little too polished to be straight, but not as gayfulicious as some of the other men who could have taught Male a thing or two about moving your hips.

And thus ends the narrative of the only interesting thing that I have done in the past two weeks, unless you want me to go on a rant about my work, which I assure you, you don't.

Been running around a lot lately, trying to buy all sorts of furniture to make it possible to live on my own. Almost there I think.

Random thoughts of the last little bit:

I'm going to vote in 2008 for the person who is willing to tell it like it is, name names and who cares about playing nicey nice with all the stupid people. Topping the list are Hillary Clinton and What's-his-Obama-dude.

And has anyone else noticed the gas prices creeping back up without anyone screaming about it? I think the gas companies realized that we weren't going to take it and lowered the prices until we shut up, then it's back to business as usual.

I'm been half awake while I'm dreaming. I dream that I laying there thinking, or something, or it's part of my dream to return to my bed. It's weird, and it makes it hard to get a full night's sleep.

Furniture and household implements just come out of the woodwork when you ask for them! My entire kitchen is stocked with hand-me-downs from the randomest people. I have more pots and pans than I could ever need from my grandfather's regular Monday breakfast waitress. Tomorrow we are going to check out a bunch of furniture the local diner owner has in storage. And I got the collest little vanity from my great-aunt. Not to mention the people who you would expect to give me things. The one person who hasn't given me anything? The father. How weird is that? He did drive some of my old stuff to me that he had been keeping in storage, but that benefits him too, because it's not hanging around taking up space. I'm trying to make him buy me a couch, because with all the other stuff, I will otherwise be sitting on the floor for a while.

I'm feeling guilty for not posting. Or maybe not guilty, but that I need to post something. Problem: I don't have anything to say. Okay, resorting to narrative of my day.

I bought a bookshelf-type deal and a plant from the nextdoor neighbor who is moving away. My dad brought me my old bedframe and a shelf from his storage space. I had very zero luck buying a mattress for any decent price. I took some stuff to my new apartment, put some stuff together, brainstormed a layout, discovered the I already need 3 standard lightbulbs. Then I came to the current-for-now home and packed up a bunch of stuff for transport tomorrow. Now we're watching The Tick. And I'm trying to convince my uncle to get me Smallville season 3. I'm addicted.

That was/is my day. I hope you all enjoyed the detail.

Seattle was on Good Morning America this morning for all the rain. Uhh, don't you think there is more important news around?

Oh yeah, and I'm moving into my apartment this weekend too Sammi.

I signed a lease for an apartment today. A little more than I wanted to pay, but the guy let me sign without doing a background check and with the understanding that I have little to no credit. It's a two-bedroom, so you can have your own room when you come to visit.

I found out that my new favorite band is from Bellingham. Their's was the first CD I put in this year. The first song on the CD is called "New Year." It starts, So this is the New Year. I don't feel any different. Talk about coincidences.

Yesterday I drove around for about 4 hours looking for an apartment. Okay, so we were also checking out the crazy cool historical houses as well. Bottom line, I need to settle for an old old place, or find a roommate. But I really want my privacy. Going out to look at a place this afternoon, we'll see how it goes.

My internet silence in over. Blah blah blah.

We put an ad out for an assistant for me. Isn't that cool?

Let the silence continue.

And the best Christmas present of the year award goes to...

*Drum Roll*

Day-of-the-Week Underwear!!

*Uproarious applause*

Hmm, you can send yourself a time capsule email at futureme.org. Seems like something to do around New Years doesn't it. Just trying to figure out what I would like to tell myself.

Long post coming up:

So I have decided that I need to move out of my aunt's house. Problems include: I live in a very expensive town where housing is concerned (this is where all the people live who work in Bellevue, Redmond, i.e. homes of Microsoft and a million other IT companies), I don't particularly want a roommate, I'm kind of enjoying being able to save 80% of my paycheck.

I found an apartment downtown over some shops (hint: I desperately want to live over a shop), but it's a two-bedroom and would cost all of a two-week paycheck. But I'm thinking about it anyway. I can't imagine making any less money than I'm making now, so maybe I can just assume that I'll be making more soon. And I guess I can just go on having my dad pay for my car. When I got it, I didn't think about how I wouldn't be able to afford a car payment. Anyway, that is my current dilemma.

Item two: Along with being expensive, this town is the least multicultural town EVER! I had to go to the airport yesterday, so we stopped off at a mall that we wouldn't otherwise go to. I didn't realize that where I am now, there are no B/black (wait would black be capitalized? It seems weird to, but then Asian is capitalized...) people and very few Asian people. ...That's it. I realized that the only non-white person I see on a regular basis is Korina's best friend, who was adopted by a white lady. There's another non-religious reason to rejoin the SGI. Too bad there are no religious reasons.

Item three: When I take over the world, I'm going to have to do something about Christmas. I hate having to get something that I know a person won't like, or will only feel luke-warm about, just because it's Christmas. It's not really the thought that counts, except for the survival of our consumerist society. That just saddles people with things they don't want so that they don't ruin their friendships.

Item four: If the workweek was even one day longer, I would die. As it is, Friday is difficult. I haven't yet figured out how people go out for Friday night partying. But I have hope that soon I will be able to jumpstart some sort of sociality. Not the know-how, just the hope.

Oh my gosh, I'm so tired!

The FUNNIEST thing happened today. Have I told you all that I'm in charge of maintaining my companies accreditation? Which has fallen into some serious disrepair since the last time we were surveyed a year ago, and that even then, we weren't in such great shape? But anyway, I'm trying to get a whole bunch of different logs together that document the stuff we do, and I had been assuming that I would be taking care of tracking a bunch of it, like patient surveys and infection tracking and that sort of thing. But I was in a meeting with the bosses today, and the owner told me, "you're a checker, not a doer." So I'm not supposed to actually keep any of the logs, except the one that says all the other logs are running. Not that patient surveys takes more than 2 hours a MONTH at the outside. And infection tracking is just marking who was gone what day, MAYBE 5 minutes a week. Now is that the craziness of management or what?

I think when money is involved, you just feel more motivated. Or maybe, it's that I've realized that I have to make something of myself now that the gravy-train has left the station.

I saw my first episode of Arrested Development. I was hilarious in a really scary kind of way. I can see why the critics like it and also why it doesn't get very good ratings.

I had a really good day at work for some reason. I was totally energized at quitting time, like I could have gone on longer. I spent some time today working on the Christmas cards that we're going to be sending out. Not enough time that you could say that I just got to do fun stuff. I spent more than an hour typing up a new form that wasn't cooperating. I think it was hard because I was making tables in Excel and then moving them to Word. And I was wondering why people use Excel so much. I'm just predisposed to use Word, and some people are more comfortable with Excel. I think I may be by the time this is all over. Anyway, too much information!

Third day of my new regime and holding strong.

Anyone interested in Harvey Danger? You can download their whole new album for free on their website. I'm listening to it now. I think I may have to buy it. It's pretty different from their first one, which I also have. My brother went to one of their concerts, apparently the lead singer likes to wear a tophat. And if you don't know who they are, they are a Seattle band who had a famous song in a movie. "Paranoia, paranoia, everybody's coming to get me...Put me in the hospital for nerves and then they had to commit me, you told them all I was crazy, they cut off my legs, now I'm an amputee, God damn you." I like that song.

Congrats to Uyen who has been posting regularly! Though I have to say that I got an invitation to that get-together jiggi-bob, um, last Wednesday. If you're going to invite me, you might as well give me time to get there.

I've started a new exercise regime. Sitting at a desk all day long is not helping my fitness level. The idea of sitting at a desk for the rest of my life is not helping my mental fitness level. I've gotta find something unconventional to do!

My credit union savings account gets just under twice as much interest as my bank savings account. Guess where I'm going to put my money. And my credit union will send out checks every month for all my bills. I'm kinda getting into this financial stuff, keeping track of everything, and making sure that my credit will be good...when I start making it into the credit report databases.

I finally finished the Moo book. Now I don't feel like reading ever again. Are you asking yourself whether I'm a pod person yet?

Today I was telling Andy how 4 years in CA weakened me until now I have the climatic fortitude of a week-old chihuahua. Actually, I didn't use those exact words, but they are true none-the-less. The scariest thing I've had to face is drive home on a 2-lane highway with a depleted cell phone battery in the dark while it's snowing gigantic snowflakes. People started leaving work at 2:00 to make sure they got home okay, but I was like, eh, I'm fine...until 5:00 rolled around, then I started whining like a baby.

But here I am, I'm okay, just as long as I get that steering wheel warmer for Christmas.

I think I'm lonely. I'm always really tired at the end of the day, but I've noticed that if something excites me, I'm all awake, and then I sort of slump back into the fatigue. So how do I go about getting unlonely? I'm too tired to try.

I've got all this stuff I'm trying to do, but reference the above paragraph.

I've decided that I'm a lazy hypochondriac. I'm always worried that I'm dying and there is brain fluid leaking out of my ears, but I'm too lazy to have anyone check it out.

I got my hanten from Ann today. Can I have a witness to the fact that a week ago she said that she hadn't sent it and she didn't have any money to send it? So how is it here? Huh huh?

Anywhoo, back to the reason, you're here, ME! I'm sitting here, wearing my hanten, contemplating downloading a different screen saver because the one I have makes noise and annoys everyone. But I'm not going to do it because I'm lazy and I'm hungry.

One more thing. I've talked to my dad on the phone a couple times in the past week because we're working out some money issues. And it seems like he's actually interested in what's going on in my life. I know, it's weird. Just thought I'd report.

A dream made me think of this next thing. I can't remember what it was about, but I know it was weird because 1) it made me think of this next thing, and 2) I was on my deathbed.

So what is the physical difference between life and death? Death being the absence of life and therefore a form of life, so rephrasing the question, what is the physical definition of life? I mean, besides the whole, living things moving around bit, is there a difference? If we took a CAT-Scan of a live person and a recently deceased person, could we tell the difference?

And what is the special little spark thing that makes unlife into life, not death into life, it doesn't work that way. Why doesn't a dead thing come back to life? A fully-formed dead person would be a lot more capable of taking care of itself than a little embryo, so it seems that in the choose-the-easiest-path scheme of the world, a fetus would not be the way to go.

Life being what anyway?

Hey! You all can just take back your clouds! We have no more room for them. It's foggy 24 hours a day! I can't even see the stop lights while I'm driving to work. Not to mention that it's dark anytime I want to go anywhere. Remember me if I die somewhere on the road!

On yeah, and Satan is my motor.

I accidentally got to some of the first posts I ever made. Boy, I used to think a lot and write it down. Now, is it that I don't think anymore, or just that I don't write it down anymore?

Today I found a loophole that will save my company $500 a month.

All I want for Christmas is a heated steering wheel.

How the heck do people work every day for years and years and years? I've only been at it a couple of weeks, and I'm already primed for a break. At least Thanksgiving is coming. Now I am motivated to find a rich, or at least financially independent, guy to marry and force him to support me as I deserve to be supported.

I'm really slow.

I wrote my first business letter today. It got a "very good job." comment.

Hehe, fun!

How to make a Jessica Ann-Marie Webster

Ingredients: 1 part success 1 part arrogance 5 parts joy

Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little wisdom if desired!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Okay, this one's a little better.

How to make a Jessica

Ingredients: 3 parts mercy 5 parts ambition 3 parts joy

Method: Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add a little caring if desired!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Okay, that's the last time I follow a link to a blog I don't know.

How to make an amazon_of_fancy

Ingredients: 1 part mercy 5 parts arrogance 1 part ego

Method: Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Top it off with a sprinkle of lovability and enjoy!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Jagged Little Pill is totally the best CD ever. If I had to pick one CD to listen to for the rest of my life, it would be that one. All the anger and revenge gets to me, even when I'm totally devoid of emotion. Kinda makes me want to get hurt like that so I can take revenge, she makes it sound so sweet. Kinda sad huh?

Oh yeah, have I told anyone that my boss flicks the lights when it's time to leave? Like the teachers do in kindergarten classes to get everyone's attention. Every time he does it I want to rip his head off.

I started my Christmas stuff this weekend. It's all going to be hand-made. Spent $60 at the craft store yesterday, who said making your own presents is cheaper? I spent more than an hour picking out stuff, so you'd better all like it. Let's hope that after spending all that mula and time, I can actually follow through and not decide on Dec 24th that I don't like what I've done and decide not to send anything. At least I managed to start the process. Finished 7 card fronts and 1 presenty thingy. Crafts are fun, but stressful!!!

And before I leave you all, can I just give a shout-out to keyboards with properly sensitive keys! At my current work (hopefully my work for longer than two weeks) it takes me twice as long to type anything because the keys won't register the first time around. Not to mention that my wrist hurts after typing one sentence.

The company I just started with is trying to get accredited. Oi Vey.

I am a freak! I wanted a job that was more interesting and wouldn't be completely mindless, but then when I get it, I'm all freaked out about it and kind of annoyed that they'd just toss me all this responsibility. Just one more piece of evidence that points to the fact that I am afraid of change.

AND IF ONE MORE PERSON TELLS ME HOW YOUNG I LOOK, I'M GOING TO SCREAM AND YELL AND SHOUT AND STOMP MY FEET. That'll show 'em how old I am.

I got my first credit card in the mail today. Isn't that just fabulous.

The interview on Wednesday went really well. She kept saying how articulate I am and how I could do anything I wanted.

Unfortunately for her, I was offered a different job at an interview today. Now don't be all jealous and think that I can convince anyone I want to give me a job at the drop of a hat, they need people real bad.

Not sure what I'm going to be doing though. I think I'm supposed to just bounce around until I find something that fits.

My rug

So uhh, at 2:15 today, the boss told me not to come in anymore. How's that for advanced notice?

Devil of the day: Red Ford Trucks! Evil evil evil!

Today I saw a man jogging backwards...up a hill. Things like that make me want to be a writer, so then I'd be able to describe them vividly.

Happenings during my commute:

I heard the first song from the Elephant Love Song Medley, the one that starts, "Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs..." I never realized that I'd never heard it before. It's much better in Mulan Rouge.

Before that song, I'd been messing with the song system, trying to change it from the jazz setting it was on. In the process, I pushed a button..."RDX," "RXS," "RDS" ... something. Anyway, I still don't know what it does. I looked down duing the Silly Love Song...song, and it was changing from silly to love. I tried to keep an eye on it, but it's a little tricky while doing 65. When I saw it again, it said lobe... yeah. And then later it said on Jack. with the period. I was listening to Jack FM. I changed it during a commercial and it said, den. Later, Soundgar.

I was thinking, if I was stupid and wrote my memiors, I could call it, "Memoirs of a Girl you Don't Know, You've Never Heard of, and You Never Will," subtitled, "Unless Johnny Depp Comes to his Senses, Ditches the French Chick, and Marries Her."

Hehehe

How wonderful is this feeling of absolute freedom as I sit and read after work. There is nothing that I should be doing, beyond possibly a load of dishes. Yea for having a low-responsibility job!

So a woman at work today asked me about myself, and I got into the whole SUA, SGI, disgruntled Buddhist thing. Surprisingly, I enjoyed it. She said that everyone has a story. After the part about being a Buddhist at a Christian school, she said I could write a book. Made me feel really good. And it made me realize that I have had a very different life than many people, though not at all by my own choice. It's not like I could write a memoir or anything, but I'm revisiting the whole writing thing. I'm just so darn tired after work, makes me think I'm not cut out for the regular work hours.

I was also thinking on the way home that I have never made a decision in my life. The hardest one I've ever made was to be Humanities, and it's not like that was a major life-changing decision.

Yesterday I spent more than three days worth of money on new work clothes. Since I started Tuesday, that means I gained less than one full day's worth of money. And I'm already planning a trip next weekend for the stuff that I couldn't find yesterday. Good thing my rent is free and my dad's paying for the car!

Did you know Barbie and Ken broke-up?

Guess what's going on in my life right now. That's what you get to hear about. On with the discussion of the people I work with.

Okay, I swear that I have to be working with one of BCA Jason's siblings. Alli? You have to get on figuring out if he has a brother named Brian working at Old Republic Title in Lynnwood. Firstly, he has that weird accent that sounds kind of like he has hearing problems, but not quite. I didn't really make the connection at first, but today he did some totally Jason-like things. He and Greg were making Vivian and me do some horrible tedious work, but it was okay, because we got to bug them when things didn't quite add up. So anyway, I'm asking him a question because the file I was working with wasn't labeled, so he figures it out and writes it on the label and says "it's right there, how come you didn't see it!?!" EXACTLY like Jason would have done. It was eerie. From then on, whenever I heard him talking, I could see Jason in my mind. I'm telling you, it's freaky! I want to ask him some sort of sneaky question, like, "are you a Quaker?" Then I would know, because, come on, how many Quakers can there be who talk like that?

The low-down on the weirdest job situation ever:

So Monday afternoon I'm sitting around doing what I do best, reading, when the phone rings and I'm like "hello?" And I hear, "blah blah blah, CampusPoint, blah blah blah job starting tomorrow, are you interested?" And I'm like, "heck yeah!" And he's like "I'll send you directions, be there at 8." And I'm like, "cool, what was your name again?" And he's like, "Lincoln." And I'm trying really hard not to call him Abe. Actually, that last part was made up, but I would have liked that to have happened. Anyway, he says that it's a kind of a test thing, if I do well, they'll hire me permanently (By the way, CampusPoint is a job search service for recent grads)

So I look up the job listing, and it says that it's a two-week job ending August 5th. Guess why I didn't apply. So, I'm thinking...okay, whatever.

So I go (see rain comment). And it is a long way away (see time equation), but it's a long way to anywhere with jobs. I'm waiting for 45 minutes (I was 15 minutes early and the dude was 30 minutes late) and when the name I was told comes in, he foists me off, saying that he thought someone else would come get me. Okay, so how was I supposed to know that, not that he blamed me. But the dude who is supposed to teach me is not there yet. So Brian starts showing me around. Part-way through the tour, Greg (the teacher dude) comes and assumes that I've already been told everything I need to know.

So lalala. My "work friends," pretty much the only people I feel comfortable going up and talking to, are Greg, the guy who's leaving next week, and Vivian, the copyroom girl who's temp-time is up next week. Fun huh? Greg thinks that they'll probably extend Vivian. Greg, he kind of reminds me of a Chinese Pili. He kind of dresses like him, though don't all guys dress alike? Every once in a while, when I ask him a question, he uses a teacher tone with me, like "so what does 9000 mean?" And he's always telling me to remember to take my breaks. What is there to do on a break anyway? Besides being the only female under 30 that I've seen, Vivian is the Korean girl who studies scriptures during lulls and listens to the gospel station. I thought she was Japanese, but today I caught a glimpse of her half-Korean book. She remind me of Tomomi, and whenever I'm about to look at her, I expect her to look like Tomomi.

So everything's going pretty well, it took about 30 seconds to learn the filing system and the people smile and say hello. Except no one has told me how long I'm supposed to stay. The boss guy wanders around, and he told me that it's Casual Friday with free breakfast, but other than that, we just say hi to each other. One of the older guys asked me if this was my first job, yadda yadda, and maybe if I keep working temporary jobs, I'll figure out what I want to do with my future. Huh? If I was looking for clues as to my status, I wasn't going to get them there. Today he comes over and he says, "Those two guys over there (Brian and Greg) are leaving next week, maybe I should talk to Jack (the boss-guy) about you taking one of their jobs." I have no clue what they do! He says it's easy. Who knows, maybe the guy is insane.

And the freaking commute is never consistant. I left 15 minutes later than normal and was still 15 minutes early. And then I shaved off 15 minutes somewhere on the way home, I'm telling you, they're messing with my head. And did I say, it takes me an hour and sometimes 15 minutes to go 24 miles? That's how far the job is from my current living situation.

One more complaint, and then I'm done. Rain. You turn on your windshield wipers, and hey, great. 30 seconds later, you're wiping dry glass, but you turn them down, and you can't see anything.

9 hours at work + 1 hour at least each way + waking up an hour early to get ready + preparing lunch and wardrobe the night before = more than half the day spent on a job. + the time spent debilitated from the eye strain caused at work = I wanna go back to school.

At 6:30 in the morning it's really dark. And clouds up here are lazy, they have figured out the most efficient way to deposit rain on us: become fog and let us come to the rain. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't see, and then I turned on the windshield-wipers.

It says document specialist on the position. People who have strange hobbies (I really just don't know why they want them) ask for records of ownership (I think) from the past, and I have to get it for them. Post-1988, fine, fabulous, anything for you pal. Pre-1988, microfiche mania, hence the eye-strain. Free tip: don't try to read the articles when they are moving.

Bringing some perscription strength stuff tomorrow, though I didn't hurt too bad today until I started to drive home. If I can't cope by Friday, I'm going to have to call it a day.

Laugh no longer. I start tomorrow at 8.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Food that I can't live without: graham crackers, avocado

The best snack food: toasted cinnamon raisin bread with butter, baby carrots

When you're cold: hot water without tea, blow drying your hair

Two is the magic number (though it is the loneliest since the number one)

I always think things in my head (hey, good place for that, no?) and then I think, "hey, that'd be good to share on my blog," and then I get all ready to go, but it's gone (Hey Ellie, does that remind you of that birthday card again?). I think there's something about the illumination from the screen affecting my brain. It's either that, or I have pre-Alzheimer's like Bush, and I'd like to assume the first, thank you very much (ha, got the spelling on one, except for the ei. What good is that stupid rhyme?).

More on the lack of time definition. I was at the store today and this family came in, and I was thinking, "hey, shouldn't all those kids be in school?" Oh so sad.

Even sadder is that I'm stopping myself from buying things. Oh cruel cruel world!

Happy October. Dude, time is flying by. It's weird not to have anything by which to reflect the passing of time (can't end in a preposition now). For as long as forever, I've counted down the days until summer break, marked each year by my grade, just toiled through to some ending in the vague future that I never believed would ever arrive.

It disgusts me that I've forgotten so much French and Japanese. I've been close to fluent in both and now... At least school provides some incentive. Now the only incentive is food. Ha! food... not nearly as persuasive as grades.

You mean, people can read this thing??

Today I bought the unabridged diary of Sylvia Plath. Hopefully I won't identify too much.

So I kinda wanted to learn how to sketch. Unfortunately, I don't think I should be starting anything no career related.

Dude, remind me not to read everyone's blogs before I start my own. Now I'm trying to remember what the heck I was going to blog about...oh yeah.

I finally found my focus, the thing I will deprive myself of until I get my act together. Furniture. At least, I'll try to deprive myself. I wouldn't let myself buy a $50 table-type thing today, but I ended up getting a $10 Firkin/basket. Hey, I don't know what a Firkin/basket is either, but it's kinda cute, and it was marked down from $40. It's a wooden basket, but it was legs so it's like a stool, and it has a handle so you can carry it around like a purse. Hey, it was cheap. Did I mention that all the things I have to keep depriving myself of are from antique stores? I have a serious weakness for old things in different styles. Once I actually get money, it's going to be a struggle not to spend it all on old wooden things that cost thousands of dollars and are too big to fit anywhere. So that is my happy news.

Crazy news: I may have to avoid anyone in my extended family. I got a whole speech on how I should look for government work, maybe in the post office or at the prison, today. Federal pays better than County which pays better than State, just in case you were wondering. Can anyone think of a quicker way of dying than to get a government job?? I can't. Oh yeah, and the prison is fine, but you should avoid working in the Welfare Office apparently. Everyone is either on their way into or just getting out of prison...so, I just kinda spaced off at that point.

So now that the Big Move has fallen through, I have nothing to be working toward. I'm not saving up for any special future, there are no CDs that I'm dying to have. Now I have a sniffle that was an evil cold, and I'm using it as an excuse to not take the dog for a walk. What else will I use it to not do?

I got an email from SUA asking permission to use my Capstone as an example to show the current seniors. I wanted to say no, because, well, mine is boring and longwinded and I could probably write something better in my sleep (which brings up the question, well then, why didn't I?). But I figured that it's time to move on, and if viewing my horrible writing gives someone else the boost of confidence needed, then it's all to the good. I think my Capstone could have been something slightly interesting had we had the criteria that the news guys got.

So a) Blogger has decided that I am just not good enough to view it or to create a post, and b) I have suddenly developed an aversion to the internet. If I get on at all, it's just to check my email real quick and jump off. I think I'm afraid that I'll get sucked in and spend my life online.

News: I finally got a car. Okay, well, my dad got a car and I get to drive it. Hey, I picked it out and paid some of the down-payment, and some day I'll take over payments. So I'm figuring this will help me two-fold. 1) (thought I'd switch to numeration) now I have a way to get to some sort of vague future job-type place, and 2) I'll have to get a job so that I can pay for gas. The familia is still not putting a whole lot of pressure on me. You know, sometimes you just want some pressure, not understanding!

My brother got a girl for a roommate and my familia (the same as above, not the father-type) is all freaked out about it. The father who is not included in the above blanket statement is just glad that she's paying some rent. After he got back from New Zealand, he was hanging out here for a few days, but then she called and told him to come back. Hehe, and she's making him get a job. Which is interesting because, as far as I know, they're not sleeping together or anything like that.

I figured out that if I curl just the little chuck on not-quite-bang above my right eye, I can just fake the rest and it still looks okay. Hey, anything that makes my life easier is news.

I'm going to pay William to cut off my head. I'm dying of sinus pain anyway, so I figure this would benefit us both: quick and mostly painless for me and fun for him. Anyone wanna donate to the Jessica Euthanasia Fund? I figure it's going to cost a lot if he's going to go to jail for helping me out.

It's really sad to me that apparently none of us who have stayed in the country have much to blog about. At least, that's why I'm not particularly in the mood, and I'm projecting onto everyone else.

The rain announced itself loud a clear today. It's friend wind howled it's agreement. I think poor mister sun is hiding under a rock somewhere.

As Sammi once did for a friend lost to technology, I shall share with you all the happenings of our dear lost Ann, whom you may not have known was completely lost.

Upon arriving in Tokyo to begin her career as a JET, our illustrious heroine immediately and tragically come across a must-have pair of shoes. Known to sell her own soul for a part of brand-name, semi-cute shoes, our heroine does so. Instantly remorseful and filled with the dread assurance that she will never in her life wear the adequate foot-coverings, she sets about gathering the money to buy her soul back. Never once does it occur to her to take back the shoes.

Ann's first get-rich-quick scheme calls for her to sell small boxes of tissue on the city streets, having direct knowledge that all Japanese people depend on such extravagance. Unfortunately for her, she has forgotten that others, many others, will give small packages of tissues for free. Which is slightly ironic because where do you think she got her stock in the first place? After killing, maiming, or otherwise disposing of 759 of the free tissue-giving cads, she must admit to herself that there are just too many of them and she will have to come up with another brilliant plan.

By this time, the evil-hearted JETs have given our poor helpless Ann up for lost and moved on. Yes, the JETs moved on, all except for one hardy soul with an interest in Ann's safety...

Moving quickly on from her tissue fiasco, Ann next opens a school for young Japanese children to learn Japanese. She figures that her small stature will help ingraciate her with the young ones, enabling her to teach better than other, possibly better qualified, but un-Soka educated teachers. Again, our slightly slow friend has out-smarted herself. While there may be much demand for those with fluent Japanese, she has forgotten that, as the country of the languages birth, most children are spoken to in Japanese from their birth. Also confounding her logic, having spent too long abroad, Ann has forgotten that many people in the land of her ancestors are as small in stature as she is, indeed, some even smaller. These smaller people, according to reasoning stated above, must be even better than our Ann at relating to the children in question. Immediately realizing the folly in attempting to assassinate every single teacher, Ann gives up her dream of teaching Japanese to the Japanese children. And she forgot that children scare her.

At this time, having failed to locate Ann or even confirm that she still lives, even stalwart Allison is forced to admit that Ann is lost to all. However, if any of her family ever found out that a JET had gone missing, they would surely force her to return home to teach the undisciplined and barbarian children of her land of birth. Unwilling and slightly nauseous at the thought, Allison concocts a plan to fool everyone into believing that Ann had a slight computer glitch and is even now settling in at her new job. Hacking in to Ann's blogger account proves easy enough, after all, the password proves to be a truth that all know, jessicasthequeen. After leaving a trail of Ann like messages, she must convince the others that they should expect to word for a while. After all, she can't be expected to continually update both their blogs. Easy enough, there are forever festivals and conferences that she must attend, why not Ann? And so Ann's true friends, the only ones who can rescue her from her shopping-induced danger, and made complaisant about her lack of news.

Meanwhile, having no more ideas about how to make a quick buck and regain possession of her soul, Ann enters a prostitution ring.

Tune in tomorrow, or next week, or whenever I feel like continuing the tale of drama and intrigue, and maybe I'll throw in some true love and a few yakuza.

Why am I forever dreading Mondays??? Oh yeah, I remember.

Okay, the Middle East branch of the family is gone. And with them goes a good chunk of my excuse for not having a job. And it's already the middle of August. Oh well, I was thinking I may become a superhero, or a schoolbus driver. I saw Sky High today, and I think that would be pretty cool. Just have to find some toxic waste to dump myself in.

Ha, I already saw the marching penguin's Hollywood debut. It was pretty cute, but no Winged Migration. Though I do have to say, watching what the poor fluffies go through to procreate, I will NOT be one in my next life. And having to trust the men and all.