So, what is life all about? What differentiates the people who are happy and who aren't? Is there one standard that everyone has, or is it all just arbitrary? Maybe we are taught to be happy or sad, unknowingly, by our parents. In the grand scheme of things, what is the purpose of happy and sad, is there a use for these emotions? Would things every get done if everyone was depressed all the time? Is it happiness that drives people ultimately, do they even think about that? With something so seemingly important to our lives and out productivity, why is it that happiness is such a fragile thing? One day it is here and the next it's gone. Or is that true happiness? How can happiness be fake? It can be faked to the outer world, but it's harder to fake inside, unless you're just deluding yourself...In out little complex computer that we can a brain, how is it that we are all so similar but so different, can't we just pick one????

I feel happy learning, but when it takes a classroom turn, I get turned off for some reason. I like researching, but I hate having to write it all down. It's not like that's hard, I classify and connect them all in my head, or else I wouldn't understand anything, but getting it all down on paper just seems so tedious. I learn for myself, not so that I can show others that I am learning. Do I feel like they don't trust that I've learned...I don't want them to think that I haven't learned. Papers are such an odd thing, because they are barely ever your own creation. There is always outside help in grammer or thoughts.

Am I becoming a recluse?? All I want to do is sit in my room and talk to certain people. I don't NOT want to talk to others, but I don't have the same sense of contentment when I do. This is bad, what do I do? Become more social?? Ack, scary.