Someone tell it to stop snowing!

There is an engineering firm in Colorado called Kumar and Associates.

I just went to Home Depot. When I went in, there were three guys out front, looking for work according to Andy. When I left, there was only one guy! I guess it's not just the hip new place to hang out.

On a side note, it's really annoying when you can't see because the sun is in your eyes and you need new windshield wipers. Double whammy.

It's nice when people notice new things about you/comment on old things.

I hate that I am always looking at my calendar, waiting for some circled date weeks or months in the future. (Actually, I don't circle days in my calendar. If I even use a calendar, I highlight special things or write them in difference colors. But I'm trying to be dramatic here, and it's not particularly dramatic to say that I'm always looking for the thing that's written in red ink, is it?) Where was I?

I want to look forward to every day. I don't really care what I'm doing as long as I can look forward to the day. Not to mention, no event can stand up to the expectation built up over weeks or months of waiting and watching that circled day (see above) get closer.

This is my most disgruntled complaint. Unfortunately, it's pretty much a self-fulfilling prophesy.

My boss thought I was a vegetable-eating vegetarian. She was slightly concerned that I would be upset that she had "stereotyped" me. On the contrary, I find it complimentary.

What did my hand ever do to you? Before 10 this morning I had already sliced my hand up 10 different ways.

Ann's and my heathenisms (plural because they are certainly different) plunged into even more heretical waters last night. Someone else had better move to Seattle because Ann and I enable each other like nothing else.

I am, at this moment, eating a grape that looks like a small plum!

Bad news people: I've become addicted to poppy seed salad dressing. Next thing you know I'm going to be squishing it up, sniffing it, frequenting opium dens, and being made fun of by real opium addicts for not knowing how to abuse poppy seed juice.

Work is so totally not fun right now. I'm so crazy busy that they gave me about half of another girls day to help out, but I have to train her before she can be productive. So I'm quietly (or not so quietly) sufficating under my workload, and then she comes along with a question or it's time for me to check her work. And it's not her fault that she doesn't know how to do it right the first time, but I'm still annoyed when it creates more work for me. And she's my friend, which doesn't help the situation. Then I wonder if it would be easier if I just did it all myself.

That was longer than I wanted it to be. The point is, the stress from work is staying with me wherever I go. I brought work with me to class the other day! I can't relax at home. Even now, I worried about what I have to do on Monday. I can't do anything but worry, which means that my whole life right now is work, which is just depressing. Compounding my whole breakdown are the 15 things that are due while I'll be at Cassie's wedding, so I have to get it all done ahead of time.

Taking a moment out to breath only helps for so long.

Getting old is dumb. I went to the eye doctor today because I've...been having eye issues. He was way knowledgable; if anyone wants to know why I tilt my head or why my eyes go wonkie, now I know. Anyhow, I'm going nearsighted it seems, so he made me get glasses for driving and nighttime (okay, he asked, "do you want to get glasses now?" and I said, "might as well"). The only upside is that I got the coolest pair in the universe and everyone will be way jealous of me while I'm wearing them in the car and in the dark... Downside of finding the coolest pair in the world is that they were roughly double what my insurance wanted to pay for them.

I'm so tired of politics. I would say that I just want to get this whole election thing over with, but then there will be more annoyance and discomfort and divide. Is it really worth all this? Normally I would say yes, but I'm just in the mood to say NO. Get over it. Nothing is going to change dramatically. We'll still be dooming the Earth just by living the way we do. We will still look the other way while millions of people die of things we could prevent. And we yell and scream and hate each other for one candidate or the other when they and we are all just the same anyway.

Darn it all to Heck! And sometimes I mean that literally.

Do you ever forget English? Sometimes I can't understand what people are saying to me. Or I start out understanding but I lose it. I suppose it must just be that I lose concentration, but I let my mind wander because I figure that I can understand by absorbing the sound. Sometimes it makes sense to me a couple minutes later, so I have this habit of nodding even though I don't understand because I figure it will come to me. Is that better or worse than stopping my question in the middle because it is all suddenly clear?

Also, I think I may have to start comparing myself to other people for my own sanity. You know how you shouldn't care what other people do, just go for your own personal best? I have this crazy high standard that I pretty consistently fall short of and I get all guilty about it. Yesterday I was a little aggressive about getting around a bus that was stopping in front on me and I worried about it for the rest of my drive. And I've been worried that I becoming a mean person because I don't always speak against other people's rude or insensitive comments.

I had a long-standing question answered yesterday. Manila envelopes and the city of Manila were both named after a flower that grows in that area! So now you know. It's been plaging me on and off for a couple years now.

I had my job review yesterday and sort of committed to staying for a while. Depending on the direction my job takes in the next couple months, I think there could be some good opportunities for me. I just have to reconcile myself to the fact that I won't be single-handedly saving the world. I suppose there is always time for a career change later. Plus, I started my 401(k), so I suppose I should stay awhile and let it grow (that's right, I'm still obsessive about my retirement).

They are advertising paternaty tests on the radio. Where is my social contract, because I want out! I don't care if I have to pay early withdrawal penalties, I just wanna be somewhere sane.

It's freaking snowing outside (good thing it's not snowing inside!) It's so pretty, but it's so destructive. If we could all just sit in our houses watching the snow fall and not have to slog out to the car, dig it out, and slide our way to work, I'd love snow. There was a metro bus stuck sideways on 405 this morning, and the police were stopping people and making them put chains on (we are nowhere near the mountains, by the by). It's the pretty, fluffy snow too, but it's been melting little by little as the little flurries that have continued throughout the day can't keep up with above-freezing temperatures. And tonight it's going to freeze and then snow again, making tomorrow's commute doubly dangerous.

I just participated in the changing of my car's blinker! Mostly my contribution was missing a step and almost breaking the thing, but I handed the screw driver when it was needed!

Also. "I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors, but I think that God has a sick sense of humor, and when I die I expect to find him laughing."

I have the craziest aunt in the world people. We every once in a while talk about our differing religions and last night was one of those times. She thinks that Buddhism can't be a religion because there is no belief in God; not a god, God. And she shuttered when I told her that some buddhisms worship Buddha like a god; she shuttered like it was unclean. The idea that crack babies are born for a reason that occured in a past life (something that my SGI aunt told her) is "too convenient," whereas God having his own mysterious plan is okay??

She told me that Islam means "surrender" and that's the hardest part for her, to trust that Allah loves her and that if she follows his will, everything will be okay. Sounds to me like she's pretty much put aside all reason to believe what she is told.

One more thing. She said some have told her that an illness in old age is Allah's way of helping a person out. The illness or pain washes away the sins that have accumulated throughout the person's life so they don't have to do (for lack of a better term) purgatory time when they die. She thinks that may be what my grandfather, her father, is going through.

She doesn't even believe in evolution. But at least she was angry with my mom's side of the family, which has let religious intolerence come between us.

Small world time: my work's temporary secretary went to high school with Mike Arden.

I will make New Year's Resolutions. That is my resolution for tonight/this weekend. I would save it until New Year's Eve, but that's just my chicken heart trying to make excuses.

The day after a good hair day is a bummer.