Poor Allie keeps having to comment on my blogs on my MySpace, so I am attempting to add comments. Unfortunately, I killed my own template a long time ago while teaching myself HTMP by trial and error (mostly error). Blogger doesn't seem to be able to add comments to my terror of a template, and I've forgotten all that I accidently created. And darn it, I kinda like what I came up with all those long lonely years ago (at least better than any of the options). So bear with me while my blog goes through an upheaval.

Toe socks make your feet look big.

I'm realizing more and more that the people I work with and for are very different from me. This morning I was subject to a lecture that basically condensed down to "crazy liberal environmentalists consistently ignore and misreport the data so that they can keep getting exorbitant amounts of funding and are hatefully ruining the livelihoods of good honest Americans." Last night, they called a winning high school football player "classy" for dropping to one knee and thanking God before doing a t.v. interview. Ah well, they're nice enough if you keep your mouth shut while they talk about religion or politics. On the other hand, maybe I should tell them I'm a blue-blooded heathen. Then they will stop telling me how tall/handsome/successful their sons are, and oh, by the way, he's living on the west side, you should meet him.

"If invited into someone's home, remember to always remove your shoes in the entrance as a sign of respect, and to give yourself something with which to hit the family pet should it attack."

Ann tells me there's a troll who lives under a bridge in Seattle. I'm kinda jealous.

What would the theme song for your reality show be? Ann says mine is "I'm pretty, oh so pretty, I'm pretty and witty and GGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" But she's short, so what does she know. I have to come up with a really mean one for her.

Watch out! The spiders have formed a large conspiracy. Are they out to get you too?

Fact 1: Spiders are malicious, devious creatures who enjoy making people miserable.

Fact 2: They somehow brainwashed me into not squishing them when I find them. Instead they take control of my body and make me take them outside where they can plot their next attack.

Fact 3: They usually come at me when I am relaxed and unsuspecting at home.

Fact 4: They have started attacking me at work!

Fact 5: They made me switch regular parking spots at work by marking their territory (read: they built a freaking web on my car!).

Fact 6: They often stretch their webs across the walkway I use to go into the office.

Fact 7: THEY KNOW WHERE I SIT AT WORK and they sit under my desk and wait for me. And then they escape the upside-down pen holder I use to catch them and make me scream and attract the attention of the whole office.

You can't deny the facts. We must unite against the eight-legged-boogeyman!

"I adore you, but you don't know who you are."

Today I saw a horse doing an excellent impression of a stuff Black Beauty statue. His tail wasn't even waving in the wind. Had there been anyone else on that particular road, he would have witnessed an accident. Then he shook his head and went on his way. Who know horses stare off into space like everyone else.

I keep trying to come up with a description of how I feel right now, but it's not working.

I'm moving again. Got approved for the place today and will have to go sign the lease sometime this week. I think I'm past the point where I might accidentally buy a condo, but I'm still jealous of those who can buy.

My first assignment for that online class (which I did manage to get into by the way) is due tomorrow. I'm trying to work up the enthusiasm to finish it. At least I discovered that online classes are not my thing. I was going to take one other class next quarter...and I really probably should...

Work is going well, which is scaring me. Pretty sad huh? They're sending me to conference so I can learn about irrigation districts. Yeah, doesn't make any sense to me either. But they like me and they think I'm a valuable addition to the company. Why doesn't that make me happier?

Somebody has to stop me!! What the heck is wrong with me?? I'm so tempted to buy a condo it's ridiculous!! I'm afraid it's going to happen whether I want it to or not. What is with my urge to own real estate? I don't know what it is, but it's a bad idea!!

So what the heck is going on? I decided to take a couple classes at a community college just in case I decide to go for that Masters program I've been thinking about ('cause why not burn $1000 on 2 classes??). But I can't get them to let me in to the one I picked the school for! They want my AP Calculus scores from high school! I don't have those, it's been seven years! I faxed them my SUA transcript, but that didn't work. I took the math assessment test, but the class I want to take won't accept it even though I placed beyond the prerequisite class. Not much beyond, because who remembers trig? Maybe I need to spend 30 minutes reviewing all the crap I learned that has no bearing on life or the class I want to take so I can place much higher than the prereq. But the lady won't answer her phone and isn't calling me back, and I am not going to spend another $20 or take time off work to drive through the worst traffic in the Seattle area when I don't know if it's going to work. Can I just say that it shouldn't be this hard to take one course at a community college!

All my old YWD leaders have been calling me. All in one week too. It's been slightly freaky, especially since they are all from different places and times and don't even know each other.

"No wonder men are perplexed by the modern woman. We're actually prehistoric hypocritical geniuses. " http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Investing/HomeMortgageSavings/WhoPays.aspx#pageTopAchor

I have never heard a better description of women.

I thought that there would be more pain involved in this whole recovery thing. I was thinking that I wouldn't mind the swelling because I would be delirious with pain.

Happy last day of July! Wow, time is going fast. I'll be 22 in no time :P

Work today was the craziest thing. The receptionist (Front Desk Coordinator) made a mistake and got yelled at and spent an hour in the bathroom crying. And her assistant receptionist came and got me to make her feel better. Me and emotion: doesn't fit together so well. But I think I helped a little at least...I can certainly play cheerful well enough.

When she was back on her feet (in her chair, at her desk...), the assistant "Front Desk Coordinator's" boyfriend broke up with her during lunch. So she went home early because she was apparently a mess. Good thing it was a slow day.

Oh, and I got a raise, but no one told me. I'm just hoping that it wasn't a mistake and they'll take it away once I find the right person to ask. Isn't that random though? I would think they would want to make the best of a raise and get the employee's morale up. I might not even have noticed (because my hours are different every month) except that the pay rate is right next to where it shows remaining vacation and sick time.

I'm getting my wisdom teeth out in two weeks and two days. I'm a little late, but that's better than never right? I wasn't worried about it at all, but then today I had to go in and sign all the papers and show the oral surgeon my x-rays. Apparently, I may need to get root canals on my bottom back teeth, depending on how the lower wisdom teeth come out. And either way, they're going to be crazy sensitive because the roots will be exposed until my mouth heals. How wrong is that? Well, at least the dude explained to my exactly what a root canal is. I'm maxing out my dental benefits in one go, on top of paying $600 for the privilage. After this, my teeth are off limits until 2008, even if my roots do need canaling.

I was reading this website telling me that we used to need our wisom teeth to take the place of missing or worn down teeth when we were still running around catching our dinner. But all four of mine are so jacked up, they wouldn't have come in even if there had been room.

It's expensive to be healthy. And didn't you just get more information than you wanted.

Rraaaawwr.

I'm about ready to just pick something, somewhere, someone and just do it. So that I have something and can stop floating around like a moron.

It's so wrong. Today my company had our 401K people come in for their yearly update. I don't know why I went, I'm not eligible for another 6 months... Now I'm freaking out trying to figure out how I can save $6000 a year (which equals $500 a month!) because the example the dude gave was of a 25-year-old saving $6000 a year for 40 years and ending up with over a million dollars. I've got spreadsheets with all the different options, starting will smaller contributions and gradually increasing them, all the options, not all of them financally feasible for me. But it's all about having money in early, so really, I could put a whole bunch in now and take a breather with smaller contributions in a couple years. I'm even wondering if I should get an after hours summer job for some extra money to start with. And I'm trying to figure out what all those financy words that he was tossing around with abandon mean. I just kind of looked at the not-so-pretty graphs that were up on the screen. Really, all I got out of the meeting is this: start now and diversify (except I already knew that part, I just don't know what to diversify TO). Only 6 months to figure it out. And maybe I should send an extra check to my IRA right now. And is having two different accounts with different people going to be a problem. Maybe I'll just switch the IRA to these people (if I can??). I Googled the dude at the meeting and his company was listed on some winner's circle list for financiers (the only one from Seattle on the list [wow, major sense of deja vu there]). That's enough whining, I have to get back to studying all this stuff!

"The female tarantula stings her mate at the moment of ejaculation. This numbs him, and in this blissful state she slowly devours him, eating him alive. He feels no pain, as her sting works like a morphia d'amour, promoting a finale of euphoria. His flesh will in turn feed that of his offspring. The male is conscious, though euphoric, as his mate consumes him utterly. By some quirk of evolution, or perhaps simply awareness, she always saves the brain till last. Then the lights go out. I've always thought it must be quite a way to go."