I realized today, or was it yesterday, that I'm a snob. It's true. Not as much as I seem sometimes, I suppose, but I am anyhow. I wonder how I got this way.

I don't think my skirt plan is working. It's gray and raining today.

My family makes me so insecure. I love them, and we have fun together, but I realize that they (and me too) love to make snarky comments behind everyone's back. Everyone else is immature and inconsiderate, but of course they are perfect. And they get all up in arms if someone makes a suggestion about their or their childrens' actions and immediately start attacking the attacker. No so meanly as it sounds of course, but every one has a holier-than-thou attitude and wants to judge everyone else and not be judged themselves and ahhhhhhhhhh.

And I never hear things about myself, but they must talk about me when I'm not around.

I bought a dress last weekend and I wore it to work today and I felt pretty all day long. Dresses are good. And it was sunny and nice today, but, as someone as work said, today could have been both the beginning and end of summer, our one day of summer.

I killed my neck!!

Okay everybody, you've got to help me. It's like a telethon, over the internet, and I'm not asking for money. This week is skirt week. I'm trying to trick Spring into thinking that it's already time to be here. And technically, it is, even though it's just April and we're still in-ing like a lion. I figure, if it sees skirts, it will figure that maybe it hasn't done it's math right and it will come sooner. It works with me, I forget what day and month it is all the time.

Switching gears, I'm going to see about reserving that condo I emailed some peeps about. I want to go, and if no one else does, well then, I'll have a really expensive and quiet week to myself in Maui.

I feel like I need to re-invent myself musically. I want to be into obscure, indie, crazy music that does what no other music does.

Spring is finally here, for today at least. Who knows what season tomorrow will bring.

I had the dumbest bout of nostalgia a little bit ago. I saw, like, six yellow jackets fighting on a lamp post and I missed the days when we all sat outside for lunch and had to run away from the bees. Especially Cassie. I'm thinking I need to take a 3-day weekend and go visit her.

I've been so sleepy the past couple days. I don't know what's going on. Or I guess I don't want to know what's going on. It doesn't help that I'm sitting down all day long. I've been having mini rock-out sessions to the music on my computer to wake me up. Unfortunatly, it looks like I may need very large rock-out sessions to do any good.

Sleep is such a precarious thing.

We are calling Maju's visit a success! Even though we didn't follow my plan (at all), we did lots of cool things. Even though we got lost in downtown Seattle several times, we always found our way to where we were going. I think we did everything that someone visiting Seattle has to, touristy, historical, outdoorsy, nightlife, and lots and lots of good food!

So, if anyone is interested in coming to Seattle, here is a sample itinerary of the super exclusive but not too expensive Seattle Tours by Jessica. I even ordered the rain, because what would a trip to Seattle be without a little (or a lot of) rain?

Friday:

• Lunch at my current favorite American-style diner. Not fancy or exotic, but good food a little different from what you'd find elsewhere and a huge menu.
• Shopping trip to a local Asian food store for supplies.
• Trip to the east for a spectacular waterfall view and a lovely walk in the rain.
• Dinner at a really good India place (lucky guess, I had never been before).
• Back to a downtown Seattle poolhall to meet with old friends and make fun of the horrible DJ controlling the dance floor.

Saturday:

• Indian food is even better the next morning!
• Pick up the client's dad at the airport and straight back downtown to the Seattle Underground tour. Too complicated to explain, you'll have to come and I'll take you. Totally fun and unique experience. Where else does a city build an 8-35-foot retaining wall around every city block? Hey, at least they put in ladders at the corners.
• Lunch at the Cafe Poloma. Yummy mediterranian food (also a lucky guess).
• Door to door taxi service during crazy construction around hotels
• Back to Tour Headquarters, and I allow the client to cook for me. Yummy yummy!
• Downtown again to the supposed Salsa nightspot. Unfortunately, Seattle does not boast a large latino population, and that it does boast doesn't seem to have inherited the dancing gene. But good music!

Sunday:

• Early dim sum lunch at House of Hong in Seattle's attempt at Chinatown (it's called the International District). Hey, at least the food is good. I highly recommend the coconut mochi (or whatever they call in it China)!
• Shopping at Pike Place Market. Hey, I'll even help you spend your money!
• Meet my grandparents and get a cool gift. Eat a cookie (or three) and scram for the airport.

Not a bad itinerary for a little over 50 hours.

I've been speaking with a Transylvanian accent (or my version of one) every once in a while for the past couple days. I wonder what that's about.

So the conference. Even though I was getting hit on by guys who work with sewer water and probably never finished high school, it was fun, better than being at work. It never got too weird, there was a table between me and them and I'm sure that the engineer I was there with *who's like 6 foot 28 inches* wouldn't have let any of them actually kidnap me. It was actually kind of funny when we went to dinner at the casino (along with about everyone else from the conference) and some of the water people got drunk and started playing random songs on the piano. Besides the fact that they were playing and singing different songs at the same time, they were actually pretty good.

But instead of sitting at the computer doing who-knows-what all day long, I got to harass people to come over and talk to me all day long. Not that it wasn't tiring, but at least the only thing I did on a computer that day was check my email and read the gossip pages.

I am blogging from my first business trip. Isnt's that cool? We'll see how it goes tomorrow before I indicate whether I want to repeat this experience. I'm in Ocean Shores, WA: not the most glamourous of spots, but not bad. It's here:


I'm sitting in my hotel room with a view of the beach on their wireless internet. This is a hundred times preferable to sitting at home.

However, even though the company is paying for food, lodging, and gas expenses, it's been an expensive trip! Couple of new purses, a pair of earings or two...a really cool lamp from Bali. I just hope it doesn't get squashed on my way back, it's 4 feet of fragile wicker-type stuff. Fortunately, in a way, the stores don't open until 11 and they close at 5, so there's only a limited amound of time I can have my credit card out. And we thought Aliso Viejo was bad!

Lately, I have been desperate to be around people, anyone. But I just want to be alone because I know I won't get what I want out of anyone. What do I want? Not quite sure.

It started Saturday, and it was a bad bad day. I felt like that girl in elementary school who was always chasing after her group of "friends" and you felt sorry for her because she was so desperate and everyone thought she was pathetic. I kind of came to terms with it on Sunday. More like I just gave up and sought silence.

For some reason, I was really cheerful and energetic on Monday at work. Until I got home.

There's probably more, but I have to go.

Woo hoo, it's the weekend.

I'm on this new nightly routine. I switched to taking showers at night because I always try to convince myself in the morning that no one will notice if I don't take a shower. So now I shower at night, and it's working great, I think. It's only been about 3 days, so we'll see if it keeps up. The only complaint is that I've been getting really hot during the night. I don't know if it has anything to do with the showering thing, but it started the same day I did, so I'm suspicious.

Maju's coming to Seattle!! For a whole 3-day weekend!! Totally excited. Now let's see if I can get the Friday off...maybe not since two others will be gone that day...

On a total bummer note, that writing class I told you about? It was cancelled. I'm telling you, the world is conspiring against me. It's like I'm going to have to work hard or something. It's so totally unfair. Where's my fortune baby fortune when I really need it??? Huh, huh? Where is it?

And hey, I tried to go to Kosen Rufu Gongyo last weekend, but I got lost. Seriously. We were having it at the Edmonds Senior Center and apparently it's kinda screwy to get there. But I discovered that Edmonds is kind of a cute little town.

Happy March!

What does Seattle do to celebrate such an auspicious occasion? Dump a bunch of snow on the ground! Boy that groundhog sure wasn't kidding when he said we'd have six more weeks of winter.

Here I am at work, shamelessly scamming the internet. But hey, at least I'm on my lunch break. And I realize that I have been remiss in reporting what I've been up to.

The most important thing is that I found the right grad program, if a grad program is what I want to do. It's a Masters of Arts in Policy Study, it's with the University of Washington and given on the Bothell campus (I'm living and working in Bothell, by the by), and it's catered toward working people. I went to a couple of informational sessions and it's sounds really good. It actually sounded a lot like SUA. It's only 6 years old, and they said they are relying on the graduates to make the reputation (at which point I groaned). AND, they said the magic words. One of the graduates in working at a THINK TANK in D.C. that studies national education policy. Is that perfect or what??

But I decided not to apply for the fall. I realized that I havn't committed to the idea of a steady 40-hour a week job. I don't want to be a cog in the wheel, I just don't think I have the correct personality to be successful that way. I want to see if I can develop my writing in some way, really in any way. Not that I've been successful, though I think I'm making progress, I'm just not sure it's enough progress.

So the moral of the story is that I'm giving myself this year to find a way to become something besides a cog in the wheel (wow, I sure am attached to that phrase). If I can't, I'll apply for next fall's program. I'm going to keep working, save some money for something, and take classes. There are a couple classes that I need to make my grad application stronger, and I'm going to take some writing courses as well. My first one is on Saturday.

On a whole different note, I spent all of yesterday cooking, just for fun. Okay, maybe not ALL of yesterday, but it sure felt like it. My feet were awfully tired by the time dinnertime rolled around. Most of the stuff was pretty good. The fault for the only bad one lay, not in my cooking, but in my choice of recipes. Note to all who read this: BLT muffins are not a good idea.

I have hit upon the perfect CD combination. First you play James Blunt and you get a little melancholy. Then you play Darian Rice, or whatever his name is, and you contemplate ways to kill yourself. Then, as you're looking for the best place to hang a rope from, you play the soundtrack from Winged Migration and everything is happy again. I have to go now. I want to do it again, talk about an emotional rollercoaster!

Last post: Dec 16, 2006. Wow, LAST YEAR. It's already February! Time flies even when you're not having any fun.

I have no patience. I like to pretend I do, sometimes I can even trick myself. But I really don't. I want everything now. Time is my mortal enemy, literally, since if nothing else does, it will kill me. So what do I do about it? I micromanage my time. But that doesn't work, it just gives me a reason to get nothing done. Because if I miss my appointment with time, I'm off the hook, it's not my fault any more.

Sorry for blathering, I have nothing coherent going on in my brain!

Charm switch return to off.

I just got home from the company Christmas party. I helped plan it in that I called the caterer and DJ when my boss was too busy. Then, she didn’t show up to the party, and I inherited the job of coordinator. I didn’t even particularly want to go, and I ended up having to stay until the end to help kick the party people out.

The poll shows that I am a favorite of most of the engineers’ spouses. I got advice, compliments, and even a gift from the husbands and wives of the people I work with.

I shall be a live-in babysitter.