Bad news people: I've become addicted to poppy seed salad dressing. Next thing you know I'm going to be squishing it up, sniffing it, frequenting opium dens, and being made fun of by real opium addicts for not knowing how to abuse poppy seed juice.

Work is so totally not fun right now. I'm so crazy busy that they gave me about half of another girls day to help out, but I have to train her before she can be productive. So I'm quietly (or not so quietly) sufficating under my workload, and then she comes along with a question or it's time for me to check her work. And it's not her fault that she doesn't know how to do it right the first time, but I'm still annoyed when it creates more work for me. And she's my friend, which doesn't help the situation. Then I wonder if it would be easier if I just did it all myself.

That was longer than I wanted it to be. The point is, the stress from work is staying with me wherever I go. I brought work with me to class the other day! I can't relax at home. Even now, I worried about what I have to do on Monday. I can't do anything but worry, which means that my whole life right now is work, which is just depressing. Compounding my whole breakdown are the 15 things that are due while I'll be at Cassie's wedding, so I have to get it all done ahead of time.

Taking a moment out to breath only helps for so long.

Getting old is dumb. I went to the eye doctor today because I've...been having eye issues. He was way knowledgable; if anyone wants to know why I tilt my head or why my eyes go wonkie, now I know. Anyhow, I'm going nearsighted it seems, so he made me get glasses for driving and nighttime (okay, he asked, "do you want to get glasses now?" and I said, "might as well"). The only upside is that I got the coolest pair in the universe and everyone will be way jealous of me while I'm wearing them in the car and in the dark... Downside of finding the coolest pair in the world is that they were roughly double what my insurance wanted to pay for them.

I'm so tired of politics. I would say that I just want to get this whole election thing over with, but then there will be more annoyance and discomfort and divide. Is it really worth all this? Normally I would say yes, but I'm just in the mood to say NO. Get over it. Nothing is going to change dramatically. We'll still be dooming the Earth just by living the way we do. We will still look the other way while millions of people die of things we could prevent. And we yell and scream and hate each other for one candidate or the other when they and we are all just the same anyway.

Darn it all to Heck! And sometimes I mean that literally.

Do you ever forget English? Sometimes I can't understand what people are saying to me. Or I start out understanding but I lose it. I suppose it must just be that I lose concentration, but I let my mind wander because I figure that I can understand by absorbing the sound. Sometimes it makes sense to me a couple minutes later, so I have this habit of nodding even though I don't understand because I figure it will come to me. Is that better or worse than stopping my question in the middle because it is all suddenly clear?

Also, I think I may have to start comparing myself to other people for my own sanity. You know how you shouldn't care what other people do, just go for your own personal best? I have this crazy high standard that I pretty consistently fall short of and I get all guilty about it. Yesterday I was a little aggressive about getting around a bus that was stopping in front on me and I worried about it for the rest of my drive. And I've been worried that I becoming a mean person because I don't always speak against other people's rude or insensitive comments.

I had a long-standing question answered yesterday. Manila envelopes and the city of Manila were both named after a flower that grows in that area! So now you know. It's been plaging me on and off for a couple years now.

I had my job review yesterday and sort of committed to staying for a while. Depending on the direction my job takes in the next couple months, I think there could be some good opportunities for me. I just have to reconcile myself to the fact that I won't be single-handedly saving the world. I suppose there is always time for a career change later. Plus, I started my 401(k), so I suppose I should stay awhile and let it grow (that's right, I'm still obsessive about my retirement).

They are advertising paternaty tests on the radio. Where is my social contract, because I want out! I don't care if I have to pay early withdrawal penalties, I just wanna be somewhere sane.

It's freaking snowing outside (good thing it's not snowing inside!) It's so pretty, but it's so destructive. If we could all just sit in our houses watching the snow fall and not have to slog out to the car, dig it out, and slide our way to work, I'd love snow. There was a metro bus stuck sideways on 405 this morning, and the police were stopping people and making them put chains on (we are nowhere near the mountains, by the by). It's the pretty, fluffy snow too, but it's been melting little by little as the little flurries that have continued throughout the day can't keep up with above-freezing temperatures. And tonight it's going to freeze and then snow again, making tomorrow's commute doubly dangerous.

I just participated in the changing of my car's blinker! Mostly my contribution was missing a step and almost breaking the thing, but I handed the screw driver when it was needed!

Also. "I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors, but I think that God has a sick sense of humor, and when I die I expect to find him laughing."

I have the craziest aunt in the world people. We every once in a while talk about our differing religions and last night was one of those times. She thinks that Buddhism can't be a religion because there is no belief in God; not a god, God. And she shuttered when I told her that some buddhisms worship Buddha like a god; she shuttered like it was unclean. The idea that crack babies are born for a reason that occured in a past life (something that my SGI aunt told her) is "too convenient," whereas God having his own mysterious plan is okay??

She told me that Islam means "surrender" and that's the hardest part for her, to trust that Allah loves her and that if she follows his will, everything will be okay. Sounds to me like she's pretty much put aside all reason to believe what she is told.

One more thing. She said some have told her that an illness in old age is Allah's way of helping a person out. The illness or pain washes away the sins that have accumulated throughout the person's life so they don't have to do (for lack of a better term) purgatory time when they die. She thinks that may be what my grandfather, her father, is going through.

She doesn't even believe in evolution. But at least she was angry with my mom's side of the family, which has let religious intolerence come between us.

Small world time: my work's temporary secretary went to high school with Mike Arden.

I will make New Year's Resolutions. That is my resolution for tonight/this weekend. I would save it until New Year's Eve, but that's just my chicken heart trying to make excuses.

The day after a good hair day is a bummer.

Merry Boxing Day!

I must say that text messaging Christmas wishes on Christmas morning is weird. I didn't get too particularly annoyed with any of my family members after spending the whole day with them. Small Christmas trees are definitely better. I don't think potato salad for Christmas dinner should become a tradition, but ham is essential. We really need to the stores to diversify; my brother got a t-shirt that says "meh!" and a sweatshirt that says..."meh!" It's a really good thing that Christmas only comes once a year.

You'll just have to bear with me a little longer. Remember that patience is a virtue. Ouch.

Poor Allie keeps having to comment on my blogs on my MySpace, so I am attempting to add comments. Unfortunately, I killed my own template a long time ago while teaching myself HTMP by trial and error (mostly error). Blogger doesn't seem to be able to add comments to my terror of a template, and I've forgotten all that I accidently created. And darn it, I kinda like what I came up with all those long lonely years ago (at least better than any of the options). So bear with me while my blog goes through an upheaval.

Toe socks make your feet look big.

I'm realizing more and more that the people I work with and for are very different from me. This morning I was subject to a lecture that basically condensed down to "crazy liberal environmentalists consistently ignore and misreport the data so that they can keep getting exorbitant amounts of funding and are hatefully ruining the livelihoods of good honest Americans." Last night, they called a winning high school football player "classy" for dropping to one knee and thanking God before doing a t.v. interview. Ah well, they're nice enough if you keep your mouth shut while they talk about religion or politics. On the other hand, maybe I should tell them I'm a blue-blooded heathen. Then they will stop telling me how tall/handsome/successful their sons are, and oh, by the way, he's living on the west side, you should meet him.

"If invited into someone's home, remember to always remove your shoes in the entrance as a sign of respect, and to give yourself something with which to hit the family pet should it attack."

Ann tells me there's a troll who lives under a bridge in Seattle. I'm kinda jealous.

What would the theme song for your reality show be? Ann says mine is "I'm pretty, oh so pretty, I'm pretty and witty and GGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" But she's short, so what does she know. I have to come up with a really mean one for her.