Okay, real quick.
I'm listening to the Garden State soundtrack while writing my paper. Haha, paper shmaper, as long as I pass. Anyway, so, I'm thinking that it's possible that Atalienay Ortmanpay (I just hate talking bad about people so that they'd be able to understand =P) is kind of a flighty person? I know that a million gajillion men in the world are in love with her, and I would totally be if I had to pick a woman to be in love with...but can you name a movie that she's been in (as an adult) that she didn't start dating a costar in? Okay, maybe Closer, but who knows. She dated the stupid bad actor boy in Star Wars, Zach what's his name in Garden State, her costar in some movie taking place in Israel... But she did have the good taste to date Gael Garcia...so...hmmm
Just a random thought that is keeping me from graduating.
13.4.05
11.4.05
I have a dream. A dream of a perfect man. He will approach me at a loud and ruckus party with a beer in his hand and be visibly inebriated. He will be so close to me as he speaks that I can smell the peanuts on his breath. He will know instinctively that I am an intuitive person and feel safe enough to share with me his deepest and darkest secret. He'll lean in even closer and, in a voice that's just hitting adolescence, say to me, "I'm a time traveller. Wanna go back to my time for some drinks?" And I'll know that we were meant to be together, and we will be, for the rest of our lives, or at least until he returns to his own time. Yup, that's how's it's gonna happen.
9.4.05
I...am obsessed with my own eye color. Today I'm wearing a blue shirt, so my eyes should be blue right? But I just went to the bathroom, and my eyes looked green in the mirror. Now, I seem to remember myself lamenting that my eyes could turn any color except green. So what's up with that? And remember that one time I wore a brown shirt, but my eyes were blue? I thought my eyes changed color because they were reflecting the color I was wearing, but these instances seem to be defying convention. So I will continue to watch from the background and see if I can catch a glimmer of understanding about the inner workings of my eye color. Or, maybe I'll catch the little green buggers who are switching my eyes when I'm not looking.
30.3.05
28.3.05
11.3.05
7.3.05
Listening to French music.
Dad sent a check for tuition.
My brother is going to harass billygoats under a bridge.
I don't want my life to revolve around Capstone any more.
Why is education so important anyway?
Rice is heavy in my stomach.
I need to get a really big picture album.
I don't know how to write a reasearch paper.
Would old people be madmen monsters or hunchback monsters?
Alex walks between 370 and 315 more than anyone else.
I have no motivation.
Dad sent a check for tuition.
My brother is going to harass billygoats under a bridge.
I don't want my life to revolve around Capstone any more.
Why is education so important anyway?
Rice is heavy in my stomach.
I need to get a really big picture album.
I don't know how to write a reasearch paper.
Would old people be madmen monsters or hunchback monsters?
Alex walks between 370 and 315 more than anyone else.
I have no motivation.
1.3.05
24.2.05
22.2.05
20.2.05
I'm trying to blog, I really am, I'm just so confused about what I'm thinking that it wouldn't really make sense to write what I think I'm thinking, or what I'm trying to convince myself that I'm thinking, or what I'm trying to convince myself that I think I'm thinking...you get the point.
Only Point I'm Sure About: Time is running out!!! For EVERYTHING! Time to get on top of it, or...well, I'll have a lot more time...I suppose.
It's 11 o'clock. Normally, I should be getting mighty sleepy right now and be trying to convince myself to stay up just 30 more minutes. But thanks to that 4 hour nap in the middle of the day, I'm good! hehe. Must regulate body...sleep...eating...habits.
I used to think that I had a really strong will-power over myself, but now I'm not so sure. I want it back.
Only Point I'm Sure About: Time is running out!!! For EVERYTHING! Time to get on top of it, or...well, I'll have a lot more time...I suppose.
It's 11 o'clock. Normally, I should be getting mighty sleepy right now and be trying to convince myself to stay up just 30 more minutes. But thanks to that 4 hour nap in the middle of the day, I'm good! hehe. Must regulate body...sleep...eating...habits.
I used to think that I had a really strong will-power over myself, but now I'm not so sure. I want it back.
27.1.05
Dear God,
Some people say mean things about the things I like, like scarves. Sometimes they say they're tacky, and sometimes they just laugh at me. I've tried to do the right thing and denounce them as my friends, but it doesn't seem to work. So I was wondering if you could help me out. I was wondering if you could do what you do best and smote them. I wouldn't ask for anything too fancy, or course. Maybe just a little smoting for each one. It would sure help me out a lot.
Thanks,
Jessica
Some people say mean things about the things I like, like scarves. Sometimes they say they're tacky, and sometimes they just laugh at me. I've tried to do the right thing and denounce them as my friends, but it doesn't seem to work. So I was wondering if you could help me out. I was wondering if you could do what you do best and smote them. I wouldn't ask for anything too fancy, or course. Maybe just a little smoting for each one. It would sure help me out a lot.
Thanks,
Jessica
24.1.05
1.8.04
I'm alive, alive. Lost contact with the internet for a while there.
Update:
Back in the States
No culture shock to speak of
Fine with a fork
Stomach shrunk though...got only halfway through a hamburger at Red Robin
Still trying to find all the presents that I packed in random spaces
Found the earrings that I lost in Tokyo
Nothing to blog about now that I'm back where I belong
Ellie's going to do the Senior Scrapbook!!! So excited!!! Something for me to organize.
10 days...or so.
Update:
Back in the States
No culture shock to speak of
Fine with a fork
Stomach shrunk though...got only halfway through a hamburger at Red Robin
Still trying to find all the presents that I packed in random spaces
Found the earrings that I lost in Tokyo
Nothing to blog about now that I'm back where I belong
Ellie's going to do the Senior Scrapbook!!! So excited!!! Something for me to organize.
10 days...or so.
8.7.04
Am I changing? Or has it already been there. I haven't really become very close to anyone from the program or the school.
I'm so much quieter here than at home or at school, and not just because of the whole not speaking the language thing. I can ride in the car for an hour with just me and my host mom, and the only thing I'll say is to point out a car from Nagoya and comment that it must have been quite a drive. Sometimes I'd rather just sit. I'm not bothered to ride the subway with two Japanese guys and have them talking to each other in Japanese and me staring at the advertizements like normal. I kind of enjoy riding the bus or subway by myself for more than an hour.
But when I'm with Sammi and/or Allison, I talk just as much as normal. That is, I never shut up. Am I afraid of putting myself out there? And I satisfied with the people I already know and don't care to meet new people? If this is so, what happens after Soka, and we all move to our various homes around the world? I'll have to make new friends somewhere.
I feel like writing lately. I've had thoughts like, that would be a good book. But do I have time? Probably, I'm sure I'm just scared that it wouldn't be any good. Would it be just a story book? Would it have some deep meaning? In a hundred years, will anyone care? I feel like my thoughts and ideas are different from other peoples, and if I wrote a book, maybe I could explain them to myself. But I wouldn't want to invent feelings with which to write a book. So which comes first, the chicken or the egg?
I'm so much quieter here than at home or at school, and not just because of the whole not speaking the language thing. I can ride in the car for an hour with just me and my host mom, and the only thing I'll say is to point out a car from Nagoya and comment that it must have been quite a drive. Sometimes I'd rather just sit. I'm not bothered to ride the subway with two Japanese guys and have them talking to each other in Japanese and me staring at the advertizements like normal. I kind of enjoy riding the bus or subway by myself for more than an hour.
But when I'm with Sammi and/or Allison, I talk just as much as normal. That is, I never shut up. Am I afraid of putting myself out there? And I satisfied with the people I already know and don't care to meet new people? If this is so, what happens after Soka, and we all move to our various homes around the world? I'll have to make new friends somewhere.
I feel like writing lately. I've had thoughts like, that would be a good book. But do I have time? Probably, I'm sure I'm just scared that it wouldn't be any good. Would it be just a story book? Would it have some deep meaning? In a hundred years, will anyone care? I feel like my thoughts and ideas are different from other peoples, and if I wrote a book, maybe I could explain them to myself. But I wouldn't want to invent feelings with which to write a book. So which comes first, the chicken or the egg?
4.7.04
So I've decided that even though I said that Japan doesn't have purple grass and a green sky(see first or second entry of alternate blog), there really is purple grass and a green sky, it's just disguised as green grass and blue sky. Confused? Visually there are some difference, but once you get used to that, it seems the same as wherever else, or at least it did to me. With all the things that matter, Japan is the same: everyone has five fingers on each hand, and they all like to have fun, and life is a daily thing for them too. But it's the little things that are different: everyone sits through all the credits at the movies, and they have horrible fashion sense, and they bow when they thank or meet people.
In some ways, all people are the same, well, at least all people that I've come in contact with. I think in all the important ways, that's how it is. All people are first and foremost people, and then they are whatever, whoever, wherever. And when I go to a new place, I'm disappointed that I can't immediately see and feel the difference to the core of my being. But the differences are different from what you think. They are smaller and sometimes you can't see them except for some random part of you that never tells the you who's YOU what it thinks. You just have to gradually come to know it. And at the same time to recognize it, you see your own culture or language more clearly. Trying to figure out why they do what they do, you have to understand why YOU do what you do.
If my experience here was exactly as I expected, I wouldn't have needed to come because I wouldn't have learned anything new. Fortunately, I don't quite remember what I expected because it all seemed like a big black hole. Maybe that's the best way, because then we don't have to be disappointed too much.
Hmmm, I'm supposing that some people are out there thinking, "wow, she is strange. Japan is completely different and there is no way it couldn't be." But the food, the houses, the external stuff that you can see is all easy to get used to. Maybe at the beginning it freaks you out to eat rice at every meal, but you can get used to it. I think the real cool crazy stuff is the stuff that you can't get used to, or you can't figure out why it's done. The stuff that just seems different but you can't explain why. Any of the physical stuff like food and clothes you can take anywhere and recreate, but you can't recreate Japan, and that's the interesting stuff.
In some ways, all people are the same, well, at least all people that I've come in contact with. I think in all the important ways, that's how it is. All people are first and foremost people, and then they are whatever, whoever, wherever. And when I go to a new place, I'm disappointed that I can't immediately see and feel the difference to the core of my being. But the differences are different from what you think. They are smaller and sometimes you can't see them except for some random part of you that never tells the you who's YOU what it thinks. You just have to gradually come to know it. And at the same time to recognize it, you see your own culture or language more clearly. Trying to figure out why they do what they do, you have to understand why YOU do what you do.
If my experience here was exactly as I expected, I wouldn't have needed to come because I wouldn't have learned anything new. Fortunately, I don't quite remember what I expected because it all seemed like a big black hole. Maybe that's the best way, because then we don't have to be disappointed too much.
Hmmm, I'm supposing that some people are out there thinking, "wow, she is strange. Japan is completely different and there is no way it couldn't be." But the food, the houses, the external stuff that you can see is all easy to get used to. Maybe at the beginning it freaks you out to eat rice at every meal, but you can get used to it. I think the real cool crazy stuff is the stuff that you can't get used to, or you can't figure out why it's done. The stuff that just seems different but you can't explain why. Any of the physical stuff like food and clothes you can take anywhere and recreate, but you can't recreate Japan, and that's the interesting stuff.
30.6.04
29.6.04
22.6.04
I'm still tired all the time! Darn it! What am I going to do when I get back to school and find that my 10 hours of sleep have diminished to, maybe, 6? (if I neglect homework and sleep early)
I have to say: Typing on a keyboard is really nice!!
Laptops!! Yea! So Eric didn't lie to me about something!
It is SOOOOO hot and humid right now. Actually, just humid. One of the (many and myriad) reasons I came to Sapporo is because everyone told me it's not humid up here. Not all the Sapporites tell me this is really uncommon...but I don't want to believe. The typhoon the other day, yeah, typhoon, helped for one day, but now it's back to really painful. Talk about stepping out the door and down the street and already being covered in sweat! Give me more typhoons!! Amy (girl from Saipan) says that she knew a typhoon was coming because of the humidity. Does that mean another one is coming?
Cheers for the 85-year-old rock-climbing enemy-of-Nixon Seattlite!! Only one we got. I remember doing a report on him...or his family...in middle or high school.
I discovered...well...Alison got it first, doesn't like it, and won't get it again...this great grapefruit drink. Now, it's funny, but I never ate grapefruit before coming to Japan. Now I eat it all the time...breakfast, in drinks... I wonder if I'll eat it when I get back? I always thought I didn't like grapefruit. But I'm pretty sure I won't be able to find the drink in the U.S. I can't even find it most places in Japan, only at the school store!
Someone is watching Charlie's Angels. I wanna watch a movie, but I never have time. I am stupid! When I have lots of free time, I want something to do, but when I have stuff to do, I whine about it. Just hit me! (one more time?) Brittany gets stuck in my head here, please help me!
When I'm teaching English, the kids think the stupid things I do are really funny. We were singing the ABCs and I started trying to make the letters with my body. When I say that the penguin is my favorite animal (you gotta have a favorite and least favorite everything with these people: penguins, spiders; sushi, onions; orange, brown) I walk like a penguin. Now...is this my personality coming out? or am I acting for the kids? Is there a difference?
I shouldn't be allowed to run the video camera...I make sound effects while I'm filming. I even hum. And it all gets caught on tape. It's not a good thing to be taping!
I have to say: Typing on a keyboard is really nice!!
Laptops!! Yea! So Eric didn't lie to me about something!
It is SOOOOO hot and humid right now. Actually, just humid. One of the (many and myriad) reasons I came to Sapporo is because everyone told me it's not humid up here. Not all the Sapporites tell me this is really uncommon...but I don't want to believe. The typhoon the other day, yeah, typhoon, helped for one day, but now it's back to really painful. Talk about stepping out the door and down the street and already being covered in sweat! Give me more typhoons!! Amy (girl from Saipan) says that she knew a typhoon was coming because of the humidity. Does that mean another one is coming?
Cheers for the 85-year-old rock-climbing enemy-of-Nixon Seattlite!! Only one we got. I remember doing a report on him...or his family...in middle or high school.
I discovered...well...Alison got it first, doesn't like it, and won't get it again...this great grapefruit drink. Now, it's funny, but I never ate grapefruit before coming to Japan. Now I eat it all the time...breakfast, in drinks... I wonder if I'll eat it when I get back? I always thought I didn't like grapefruit. But I'm pretty sure I won't be able to find the drink in the U.S. I can't even find it most places in Japan, only at the school store!
Someone is watching Charlie's Angels. I wanna watch a movie, but I never have time. I am stupid! When I have lots of free time, I want something to do, but when I have stuff to do, I whine about it. Just hit me! (one more time?) Brittany gets stuck in my head here, please help me!
When I'm teaching English, the kids think the stupid things I do are really funny. We were singing the ABCs and I started trying to make the letters with my body. When I say that the penguin is my favorite animal (you gotta have a favorite and least favorite everything with these people: penguins, spiders; sushi, onions; orange, brown) I walk like a penguin. Now...is this my personality coming out? or am I acting for the kids? Is there a difference?
I shouldn't be allowed to run the video camera...I make sound effects while I'm filming. I even hum. And it all gets caught on tape. It's not a good thing to be taping!
